The third part of Belaliz Shaheen’s story essay series …
I do not understand the reason behind this move.
What was going to happen?
What does that mean?
I got angry and said in a disrespectful tone, “What does that mean?”
My world was shattered when my mother said she knew it was a decision that would hurt me, but she would not let me go to Damascus so that we would not be hurt as a family later. My reaction to my mother’s words was tears streaming down my cheeks. I stopped breathing and started crying. My mother, who was shaking even a part of my hair, was indifferent to these suffocating cries and did not care at all about my situation. I spent that night crying. I spent the night without sleep and met the rising sun with tears in my eyes. It seemed that I was beginning to understand what it meant to start a camp and spread it almost all over the country.
When we met Kanna in the morning, we touched the breakfast that came on the table and went to the roof of our house. The weather was clear and a little cold. After my mother decided that I was feeling cold, the cold weather didn’t affect me very much. My eyes sank on the horizon towards Damascus. The tears that flowed from my eyes, soaked in the sadness of not being able to reach my dreams with my friends the day before, were warming my cheeks. My friends came to me at this moment when the confusion of my mind was with my tears. We met with eyes with all the warmth of my cheeks. At this moment when our tongues were silent, noticing the same moisture in all our talking eyes strengthened my inner fire. At first, I thought that the tears that fell from the eyes of my friends were because of their grief for me. But I soon learned that they were getting the same response from my mother, and I realized that I was not the cause of their crying. We were all crying together. And you see, we cried for the long and great work that we couldn’t fulfill.
The world did not have such a problem. Her family was allowing her to go to Haseki. She had no reason to be upset, but she was also our crying companion. Our episode of crying, which lasted about half an hour, ended when my father came to us. I think my father’s heart could not take it when he saw us in that misery. My father told us that the four of us would go to Damascus with their papers, enroll in our university on our own, and send us to our school in Damascus after the war started with Dera. After visiting my father, our hearts were filled with tears. Our plans for enrollment were dashed, but at least we could go to school. Our grief has not abated, but at least we have stopped crying.
My dad was going to make our record, but the date we went to Damascus was dark. We had mixed feelings. Then, Dunya, who was going to read Haseki, intervened. He tried to persuade us that we would end up in Damascus, albeit a little late, and that he would return to Damascus by horizontal transfer after we left. When the world was trying to comfort us, it was staring blankly and we didn’t even know what to think because we were in an uncertain process. At that moment our thoughts were as empty as our faces. The next day the world was going to Haseki to record, and her departure was like a consolation prize for us.
“You go!” We told him. “I hope we go together next year …”
There doesn’t seem to be a problem with schools around the world, but when we go to school depends on the conflict and we have no idea what this conflicting environment will be like. If our prayers are answered, this period may be too short and so we must be ready for school lessons. We decided to follow the lessons given in our school on the internet that we could not attend, and left everything to chance. What else can we do?
We all came down from the roof of our house. My friends went back to their house and took their computers. We reunited in my room illuminated by generator electricity. The five of us went online. Our first task was to identify the documents required for earth registration. Then, of course, we learned what the documents required for our registration were. Once we knew what the required documents were, we took action and completed our documents on the same day with an error that we did not understand. It was a lost health card that showed us diseases from our childhood and had to be picked up from the hospital, but we didn’t know this card was necessary for university.
The next morning, we sent the world to Haseki with all the documents we thought were complete and my dad to make a record of the four of us in Damascus. In the afternoon of the same day, Earth returns and comes to us before he goes home. He registered the world, but with a missing document. As soon as we heard about the loss of the health card, we called my father and found out that the same document had been requested from my father. We didn’t have time to lose. We took immediate action and made our way to the hospital and took our lost health cards and faxed them to my father. With the peace of completing our paperwork, we made our way home again. The first thing we did when we got home was call Dad again. My father told us in a pleasant voice that our registration process has been completed. “And I have good news for you,” my father said. We anxiously asked what the gospel was, but we got no answer. Dad finished, saying, “I’ll get you all together and let you know when I’m here.” With the excitement of creating excitement in us, we began to follow in our father’s footsteps. The hour of that day has not passed.
Belaliz Shaheen’s story article will continue …