Will we die like those people, mother? Children talk of war

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“If war starts here, I don’t want to die!”

A 9-year-old boy says this … while thinking about his toys, his favorite clothes, the activities he wants to go on the weekends, he thinks of children, mothers, fathers and soldiers fighting in Ukraine. “If the same thing happens to us, what will we do? I don’t want to die,” he said.

Crying of children, hiding in shelters and even pictures and videos of the injured are displayed in the news and on social media. Like adults, children around the world are exposed to these tragic images.

“I’m so scared mom.”

9-year-old Umran Meera, who talked to her mother before going to bed that night, was very quiet that night. He spoke very little and was more steadfast than usual. After a short conversation, when her mother was saying “good night” and turning off the lights, Mira “I’m so scared mom.” Says her mother again thought her daughter was scared in the dark and asked, “Shall I keep the night light on?” He asked. The answer he received was shocking: “No, I’m not afraid of the dark, I’m afraid to die. Shall we die like those people?”

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His mother was shocked to hear that. Since Mira has been worried about losing her loved one since the beginning of the epidemic, there was no news when she was in the living room; They did not have their own social media accounts and were only allowed to use tablets to play games. Well, what did this boy know about the war, what did he see, but the war in which his country was not involved, he began to fear death?

Mother could not say a word, stopped, but did not sleep all night.

As she was getting ready for school in the morning, her mother asked Mira, “Daughter, what do you know about the war? Where did you hear that?” When asked, she said she heard her friends talking at school, children in shelters fleeing the bombing, injured people without doctors, some mothers and children dying and she began to cry. “The kids there are so scared. I wish they would come here and we would take care of them.” He can only say.

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Her mother asked Mira to write down her feelings on a piece of paper and she said they would talk about it for a long time in the evening. Mira returned from school with a piece of paper in her hand.

Are we going to die like those people, mother talking about children's war ...

The sentimental sentences that came out of Mira’s pen are as follows:

When I saw the news, I was fascinated by the look of fear on the faces of those little kids. Why is this war? I want children not to die, they not to leave their families, they always have a smile on their face. Isn’t it bad, mom, when kids lose their parents in battle? I hope mothers will always laugh, children will see their father in front of them whenever the doorbell rings. Mom, God loves children, doesn’t he? Every night I pray, will he hear my voice? Does it protect them?

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Mother’s enemies do not have children? Do they ever get upset? Aren’t they also parents? I don’t want to live in a world lost in war. I want a world without war.

These lines express concerns and anxieties about the battle in the small heart of 9-year-old Mira. He is one of the thousands of children who have reported war in one way or another. He sees wounded soldiers, helpless mothers and their children, feels sorry for them and says, “Will there be a war with us?” She is scared.

Are we going to die like those people, mother talking about children's war ...

Do not hide the incident from children

Even though the war is far away from us, children are aware of it and are afraid even if we don’t feel it.

According to experts, unknown and unanswered questions are scary for children. That’s why we need to talk to them about war. Protecting their happiness by keeping the problem out of their awareness can make parents feel better. It is not right to hide the truth from children.

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Take them seriously

Working as a psychologist in England Lee Chambers“Just because kids don’t get information from you doesn’t mean they don’t get information from anywhere else,” he says.

Chambers stressed that it is possible to have a developmentally appropriate and reassuring conversation with children about the war between Russia and Ukraine, but one must be careful.

Chambers added that there is no one-size-fits-all approach because all children are different from each other. “Take them seriously and discuss together what they see and hear in the news. By keeping track of what they see and read, you can help children avoid misinformation sources that can make their worries and fears of war worse. ” He says.

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Experienced insecurity causes anxiety

Dr. Serap Duygulu, Specialist Psychologist / Sociologist, It has been said that some of the potential effects of war on children need to be mentioned. The first of these was those who saw war and lived; Second, those who have lost their relatives and parents, and third, those who have witnessed the horrors of war and the horrors of war through the means of communication even when they are not in a war environment.

Knowing that wherever there is a war in the world, people’s lives are in danger and they have lost a loved one, it makes one worse. As a result, feelings of insecurity lead to anxiety. Emotional emphasizes that images of war about 24 hours a day, especially through social media or television, cause serious anxiety in children and can create fear for themselves and their families.

Reminding that war, violence and terrorism have never been off the world agenda, LivelyMention the emotional effects of all this on children with the following words:

“Unfortunately, the children who were born in the 90’s and faced the realities of economic collapse, unemployment, terrorism, war and migration at an early age because of the internet, suffer mentally and physically, even if it doesn’t affect them physically.” Similarly, for the first time in the history of the world, they have witnessed high levels of violence, such as the 9/11, the Madrid and Ankara bombings, the Paris attacks, and terrorist attacks around the world. Babies born in the 2000s also had to deal with the Covid-19 epidemic that emerged in 2020. No matter how hard we try to prevent it, children are witnessing this agenda. ”

Is it dangerous to be on TV continuously?

On the other hand, since adults are also concerned about the state of the world due to the war, they continue to be aware of every update, even if the televisions in their homes are not constantly watched. However, psychologists say that it can affect children at home.

Chambers noted that children are like sponges, absorbing much more than we often realize, and So that they are closely watching images of missiles, tanks and violence. Underline

‘Say war with the appropriate words of the age’

The language used when talking to children in this process is very important, because the children who see that their parents are constantly anxious, they raise the same anxiety. LivelyEmphasizes that war is bad, can cause human harm, needs to be explained with appropriate words for the age of the child, to avoid unnecessary details and to make the child feel safe.

“If children are often exposed to images of war, they show it by their words and deeds. Sleep and eating habits are disturbed. . Who says LivelyHe added that it is very important to ensure that the child’s discipline is not disturbed in this process, to guide him towards different professions which will attract his attention and of course expert help is very important.

Professor of Pediatric Clinical Psychology at Prince Edward Island University. Stephen Butler, Conversation with children about war Be simple and understandable Recommends. Butler advises parents to avoid giving extra information or too much detail, instead focusing on the children and their thoughts or feelings.

Be open to questions

A psychologist living in Florida Wendy Rice “Of course you can continue learning. However, especially if you have young children, watch the appropriate footage with them. So they can ask you some questions and you can talk to them about what is happening. Your kids may be very curious, but if they are not interested or have questions, that’s fine too. Said

Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Life Instructor Annie HempsteadParents are asked open-ended questions and then advised to continue listening. “Ask your kids how they feel, what they hear and think, and listen carefully to what they say. It’s a good idea to invite kids to talk about their concerns, but keep in mind that some kids will want to think and talk about other and perhaps happier parts of their lives. Let them choose what they want to share. ” Said

Dr. Hempstead, He added that children need time to talk about things that bother them and added: “If they express their concerns about the war, you can start by asking them what they know and how they are feeling. Then really listen to their reaction. Depending on their level of development, you can share your own feelings.” As a parent, I can sometimes get scared, ‘Even parents feel normal and we’re worried but you’re fine. You can model.’

Hampstead, She says parents who see their child withdrawing, not enjoying his normal activities and whose appetite has changed should seek professional help.

“There is nothing you can do directly to stop Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, so we feel helpless,” said Hempstead, noting that there are some things that can be done to empower both you and your children emotionally. For example, Sending cards to Ukrainian children or soldiers, collecting money, cake-lemonade, etc. It’s like opening a stand and sending money to war victims.

Hempstead, “Children of all ages feel good when they start taking steps to promote something good in the world, no doubt about it. It’s one of the healing things we can do, and it’s as simple as being kind to people. “ Said

Are we going to die like those people, mother talking about children's war ...

Remember it is not a problem to be a child

New York psychologist Chloe Carmichael If “You can teach your children to manage their stress by taking action and helping others. While teaching it, make them feel like they can be kids and have fun. “ And give the following advice to parents: “It’s important to help others, but they also need to take care of themselves. Stop the news, go out and have fun together.”

Carmichael noted that when the world seems uncertain, children can imitate adults in their lives to take breaks and learn the value of enjoying life.

“Conversations with your kids should be age-appropriate. Try to remind them that it’s safe to avoid war.”

Carmichael further emphasized that ensuring the safety of children should not come at the expense of reducing their fears. “Sometimes what they need most is that they can freely express their feelings to an adult and someone will take care of them.Said

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