Love! HT Gastro

Do you also feel that love is not really experienced, is not kept alive, but only endures in language? However, love combines all the positive emotions with the mind. It unites without separating, it destroys the other. Love is in all of us. We need to learn to love people, animals, nature and the Creator. Her mood, her water, her character, everything …

This week, we had a lovely conversation about love and romance with behavioral science expert Aşkım Kapışmak and we prepared a love cake for you.

Every February 14th, before and after, there is a discussion on whether it is Valentine’s Day or not. Lastly, will there be a day of love?

AK: No, it shouldn’t be. The brains of both men and women perceive Valentine differently. The man understands that day is Valentine’s Day. Most of the gifts were sold on the Internet that day. I mean, it’s a last-minute rush, but women start thinking about it two months in advance. In early February, advertisements for gold diamonds began appearing. Valentine’s Day doesn’t seem right to me, it’s not part of our culture. Emotions need to be felt and expressed without being attached to the gift.

There is a general lack of love in society. What’s wrong with falling in love with your parents at home?

AK: So there are many wrong parenting models in our country. They think that it is love for children to do what they want. In this way, they teach children to love only themselves. There is a feeling of “otherness” in love. If you teach your children this, love will find its way. Take your children to Child Welfare, Elderly Care Homes and Animal Shelters. Take your children to the place of conscience, not the mall. Let them see the past and the future.

What happens if people don’t love, don’t love, don’t get love?

One: The cause of many mental illnesses lies in the inability to find and express love. When people can’t find love, they shut themselves off when they can’t find a place and a person to express their feelings. At this point, he begins to associate love with objects, with things. Interestingly, we can also feel the love we feel for people for things.

Is love contagious?

AK: Yes, it is as contagious as the smell.

Is love just for loving someone? Nature, animals, country, culture, values, religion, the organization you work for, what if someone goes missing?

AK: The power and ability of human love is so great that it is a more specific need to love a person, while it is a more general need to love nature. It is more holistic for humans to love ants, flowers and nature. A person will learn to love a person only when he can love those around him and those he does not know. Because love is a human problem. Loving people is different from loving Ali. One thing is to love football, one thing is to love Galatasaray Therefore, if people see their favorite things in public, they will stop running after names and brands.

How do we separate love from love?

AK: Love is a feeling that flows to those we know, trust and believe. For love to happen, there must be tension in the environment where two people. Love cannot begin without this excitement because this excitement on both sides makes both parties feel curious about each other. This feeling of wonder and excitement; This tension can be anger, can be anger, can be fear. People are usually uncomfortable with the person they fall in love with first, then when they get to know each other, if the feeling of trust comes next to this feeling of excitement, what we see, feel and believe it turns into love we wonder. After the excitement that started in the beginning, we can start to hate and find out as we get closer with curiosity. That is, if we do not like some of his habits. Therefore, there is an illusion between the two sides.

What is love?

AK: Love is praise, the illusion of perfection, which we throw out to the outsider with our soul, in fact, it is a feeling that has no reality. Because a person is an entity that is comfortable for good or bad and is comfortable until they fall in love. Love makes you feel uncomfortable, it makes you move, it takes you out of your comfort. So love is not a feeling you know, it is a feeling you don’t know, you don’t understand, you don’t know. Because the feeling of love for a wonderful person that you have not met with admiration from the beginning, when you recognize him, you see that he is not perfect and you realize that you should not be praised so much. That glorious being begins to become a human being for you. Therefore, it should not be confused with love.

So who do we fall in love with?

AK: Generally, people tend to fall in love with people like each other. This is true not only as a type, but also unconsciously and in terms of character traits. Therefore, those whom we love, but those whom we do not love, are usually similar or derivative of the people around us in childhood. In other words, they are probably the majority of people who are similar to the parents and have certain characteristics in them, or there may be someone who often stays with our parents before the age of 6 and takes care of us. Such as grandma, mama, mama. Before the age of 6 with whom we had a brain relationship, it could be the mother and its derivatives, it could also be the father and its derivatives. We fall in love with people who look like them and we realize it in time. That’s why in a healthy love, that is, in a healthy relationship, when two people know each other, their good and bad feelings gradually increase.

How can we detect false love?

AK: When two people meet in a false love, the feeling suddenly increases, so sex in a false love is usually in front. Why is that? Because when a sex life begins, when a relationship begins or love begins, those feelings inevitably end. Because love is curious about the hidden, loves to discover it and wants to strive for it. Feelings start to subside during love when she is able to reach everything quickly. So the more secrets you can have in life, the better. People who are very outspoken and very open do not fall in love too much, appreciate or like for various reasons, but do not fall in love. Usually their relationship doesn’t work either.

Isn’t it a sign of love, sex or romance?

AK: If a person in love starts having sex fast, this feeling will disappear with time. Because sexuality is the unification of two bodies. For it to be healthy, romance must come first. But in this rapid intimacy, the underlying causes of their sexuality are usually different needs. It is even more valuable in this journey that aspirations are kept a little further away and thoughts and other feelings come to the fore.

Does love change like everything else from generation to generation?

One: The feeling of love changes every century, so not every century is the same because we fell in love with the people around us when there was no speed, the products could not be delivered fast, people were not very aware of each other. With the advancement of speed, technology and industry, we can now reach everywhere. There’s a thing called the internet and thanks to it, we see everything and everyone we see everyone’s personal, we see all the details of everyone. We learn behind the ears, under the hair, clothes, what they like, what they like, what they do and why. We get a lot of information about people. So in the past, feelings about loved ones were very strong and there was always an attempt to make them happy or create an image about them. The more he waited, the more surprised he became. He was slowly getting information from her, but now there is no such thing. We get information quickly, so we don’t have to wait long. People can get together quickly. It certainly shortens the life of love, changing the shape of love, i.e. it is a maya. It changes every year because it is unreal, it changes according to culture, way of life, mass consciousness.

Isn’t there a man to fall in love with, or a heart to fall in love with?

AK: We are at a time when the feeling of loneliness is increasing, so technology has made people very lonely. Those who are lonely feel the need to fall in love and often flirt. He often changes partners, his goal is to find love, but since he changes it often, he can’t stand to wait. So, he does not feel good and the rate of falling in love decreases, the percentage of falling in love decreases. . And since people are constantly changing partners, they are now generalizing. The brain gives the verdict. There is no man who can marry or fall in love, there seems to be no woman who can fall in love. Of course, these are wrong judgments and generalizations, but now society has created a general consciousness. The songs of the past were also different, in the past there were phrases like separation, desire, beauty, respect, kindness and mercy, but now they are different. Loved to stay before, loves to stay now. When talking to your boyfriend, I’ll pick you up, take you, break you, tear you up, throw you away, come back whenever you want, you use words and phrases in songs like mine. We always love with such a desire to have it now. It shows us that the form of love has changed. It started to come to a different point with technology.

Is there a life of love?

AK: Love is an illusion that has no reality, over the years they have interpreted it medically, psychologically and hormonally. It is the process of instilling a sense of perfection, admiration, glory and extreme curiosity in someone outside of oneself. But when he finally realizes that the person then the feeling of love begins to wane The reason for the rapid decline is that when both parties fall in love with a masked identity, they constantly try to please each other and they try not to hurt each other in any way. This is not true because love lasts only if both parties are open and allowed to hurt each other but during dating, people usually try to please each other and both parties feel different from each other. He thinks he will never hurt me, he will never be his own, he will always accept what I say, he will try to make me happy, but it is not real for the brain. After a certain period of time, especially after six months, people start thinking about themselves because they get tired of trying to please the other party, that is, they start saying yes to everything and start telling me. This causes problems in the relationship. The relationship will be lasting if both parties allow each other to be their own. That is why we have to accept that it is a great delusion to call this time of love a piece.

What are the rules of love like the song?

Ake: When we are looking for our ideal person, can we be someone else’s ideal, are we in that position? It is love that lasts.

Is there always only one culprit in ending a relationship?

AK: With all due respect, anyone who is complaining against someone else is actually in a position to complain. No one makes a mistake in any relationship. There are mistakes on both sides, there are flaws on both sides. There is room for improvement on both sides. Instead of blaming it, it’s best to ask yourself why I fell in love with such a person and find a way to see what I can do next.

Is there any age for love?

AK: Love lasts a lifetime. It has no age because we have feelings of praise, glory, wonder and perfection. It will last us the rest of our lives.

Our love cake recipe;

Materials:

  • My feelings are first
  • Then you feel
  • A little healthy communication,
  • Some fun,
  • A little curiosity and patience,
  • A little respect,
  • A little lonely,
  • Little and little sex

To keep our cake always fresh, be steadfast and patient with its sauce; And don’t forget to add calmness and listening skills for easy eating. May there be love, may there be healing!

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