A thick red line between love, admiration and abuse

In recent days, statements of Serena Sarkaya, Izgi Molla and Alena Tilaki have repeatedly raised the issue of dispersal and harassment. When Ceylon Ertem shared the harassment incident on social media, the names were linked to the processes that have been going on for years by their fans, mostly ranging from a desire to reach out and communicating and escalating to horrific threats and sometimes physical assaults. , Everyone started talking about it. Singer and songwriter Ertem cautiously engages in this relentless flirtation and harassment, which is as full of details as psychological thrillers, from gender reassignment operations to ordering and finding addresses from a restaurant saying “I’m a fan”. .

As might be expected, the history of these horrific situations, any famous names that have always been in the spotlight and have recently been exposed to women, is very old. The assassination of John Lennon by his “fan” Mark Chapman in 1981 is one of the best known examples. With great admiration, anger and hatred often make the “twins” stand so close to each other that not a single arrow can go between them. Unexpected love for a popular artist can lead to increasingly violent acts as the favorite, most impossible form of millions of people. Combined with psychological disorders such as erotomania, which can be defined as an “illusion of love”, a person can get a message from the lyric of a song, a fake or a casual gesture of a celebrity he sees on screen, and he can do it. Feel “she loves me too”. Since there is no end to such illusions, it can be fed at every step of the object of desire.

These psychological aspects of the job are completely different skills. Studies on the subject point to a conclusion that although erotomania is a debilitating disorder that is often blamed on women, it is also seen in men, and that admiration for violence in most cases belongs to men.

The most well-known example of the “Fandom” issue, which claims so much “fame” that it could eventually claim his life, was adapted from the Stephen King novel, and Kathy Bates won an Oscar for her outstanding performance that is a far-flung fan. Misery (Book of Death) Movie. Tuğçe Altuğ successfully portrayed an out-of-control fan in the recently aired TV series “Fandom” on beIN Connect.

Sorry, Kathy Bates

There are several levels to this problem. The obsessive fascination with popular statistics, of course, has some updates in keeping with the requirements of the age. With the legitimacy of disclosure of privacy at the format level, paparazzi programs have become much more accessible to celebrities through social media, promoting everyone in their celebrity paparazzi. It is learned that the comment written below a post has been answered whether it has been received or not. It adds a sense of dialogue. In the eyes of prominent names, love and hate are always involved. Also, in today’s world where fame has become more fragmented and each community has artists with their own relatively small phantoms, praise has become more like teamwork. A few years ago, Robert Mackie used a phrase in his conference to describe the relationship between hatred and admiration, which I cared about: “Today, people build their identities on the creation of others.”

As I said at the outset, although this kind of obsession is mostly the fault of women, except for the Ceylan Ertem incident, the men who attacked the car and threatened to enter the house with the ax are men. When we get out of this fan-obsession aspect of work, we find ourselves alone with the constant harassment and harassment experienced by women from all walks of life.

The only “good” of these recent events, so to speak, was the constant harassment and harassment that was tolerated, not something that should have been handled, but was purely a crime, and despite some legal flaws, there was a high probability of punishment. , Open the door for women. From this special report by Menekşe Tokyay, you can find comprehensive and detailed information on this aspect of the subject, including the opinions of various experts.

As can be seen from this news, there is an article in the Istanbul Convention which paves the way for all kinds of violence against women with a sudden explosion, which handles this issue very well. In accordance with Article 34 of the Convention, entitled “Uninterrupted Pursuit”, States Parties are obliged to enact necessary legislation or other measures to ensure that repetitive, intentional and threatening behavior that targets another person and threatens their own safety is punished.

Many women who have been victims of stockings have been applying to the TKDF for years and have had access to lawyers about the federation’s guidelines. TKDF President Kanan Gullu has recommended that women of all social backgrounds and conditions, who have been subjected to constant stalking and harassment, apply to the prosecutor’s office without consulting anyone and open a case under Section 96 of the TCK, which is a “crime of harassment”. “, And thus begin the legal process. The penalty for this crime is imprisonment for 3 to 8 years. This is very important and partially refreshing information in our country where all forms of violence against women are increasing day by day.

Lawyer Hulia Gulbahar, whose views I have taken in this regard, also draws attention to the concept of “consent”, which is beautifully enshrined in the Istanbul Convention and TCK 96. Abuse, violence, and “torture” by government officials are called “torture,” but any form of systematic violence perpetrated by individuals is called a “crime of torture.” Gulbahar stressed that under no circumstances should this criminal offense be considered as an opportunity for love, affection or appreciation and that the necessary legal process should be initiated immediately.

Lawyer Hulya Gulbahar

In our conversation with Gulbahar about this, what we focused on was “consent”. What separates love from intimidation, violence and harassment is the concept of consent and reciprocity. Any relationship without it breeds violence. Since violence is always something that feeds on unequal power relations, the pattern directed from men to women is a much more common, serious form. It is this element of discrimination that separates the general conflict of the relationship from the violence. Since all forms of physical, mental, and virtual systematic violence are fed by a stubbornness that does not accept “no”, it is actually very easy to distinguish.

While this familiar equation of energy may seem shaky when moving from a relatively weak (consonant / “street person”) to a celebrity, like these examples of fan obsession, it can be confusing. According to my interpretation, there is a terrible belief in our society (there is a terrible belief in our society that there is no woman who cannot be persuaded, no little stubbornness!), Social, cultural, political perceptions and popular descriptions. It supports that there is a large part of it that this notion of consent cannot be established in our country.

Over the years, we’ve seen the story unfold like a big love story on Yesilcom, and in most popular TV series today, this line of harassment / love has been deliberately kept too thin. At the risk of being over-explained here, I would like to say that while the object of desire is “celebrity”, I think that love and affection are applicable regardless of gender, and I think they are placed in a “feminine”. Location based on this masculine code. Of course, confusing disorders need to be distinguished from the distorted perception of “either my or your land” love supported by patriarchy. Here again, it is necessary to stay out of the trap of getting out of all kinds of violence by saying “perverted, psychopath” and to treat violence in situations where it needs to be treated. What is needed, of course, is better functioning of the legal process, including this assessment.

The Ceylon Ertem issue seems to be tied to a good point again as it has shown the power of social media and solidarity again, but this match does not always come back with social media and cannot.

As much as it is necessary to give up, the flawed narrative of love, which portrays love as something that emphasizes, can be achieved “despite” by persistence. Teaching and learning, starting with childhood, which has nothing to do with love and violence ে right now, of course, a social and political culture that respects individual rights and freedoms and that justice works well in all respects. The importance we need to remind ourselves and each other every day that without both freedom and respect and love cannot exist, in an environment that is slowly getting darker, where children are abused at every level, no one respects space and the way of existence. Those other than themselves and those like them.

* The cover image is taken from Steven Soderbergh’s movie “Unsen” (Obsession).

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