Adolescence is a very important time in every person’s life. The age and length of entry during this period, which is usually defined as 11-20 years of age, varies from person to person according to genetic factors and environmental factors. During this period, where significant changes take place, step by step from childhood to adolescence, and a person now sees himself and his environment through a different window, overcomes the support of his immediate family and raises healthy and happy people. During this time, there can be big problems in the family. The biggest reason for this is the inadequate knowledge of parents about adolescence and the mis-establishment of parent-child communication instead of generational conflict.
The biggest problem that has left its mark on this period is the fact that parents are not well equipped or have doubts about how to treat their children. As a result, adolescents and their parents, thinking that they have a very different world and that they do not understand, often argue over minor issues and feel an emotional distance. Here, how parents communicate with adolescents and how they ensure their continuity is very important.
The importance of parental attitudes and family communication
Communication of the mother and father and other family members with the child determines the child’s place in the family. The family is where the child first experiences socializing. Attitudes towards the child, attitudes towards him play a great role in weaving these first experiences. Research on social adaptation reveals that the first family effects on the child are crucial.
Children who receive close attention from their families and grow up in a democratic environment are more successful in active, free and friendly relationships. In addition, children who grow up in a tolerant environment tend to be more sociable, able to come up with more creative ideas and have a tendency to express their opinions independently. On the other hand, children who grow up in a strictly controlled family or whose education system is different, tend to adopt methods such as opposition and aggression and have difficulty expressing their inner world.
Communication within the family affects children socially and emotionally.
The attitude and behavior that a person will display in the social environment and in the relationship with other people later in life is based on the relationship with his parents in the family. How communication is established between the parent and the child in the family and the parent’s attitude towards the child has a direct impact on the child’s emotional and social development. The harmonious development of children in all aspects depends on establishing a loving relationship between the parent and the child based on trust and support and the parents have an attitude that values and cares for the child.
Acceptable, supportive and democratic family attitude It is the most appropriate attitude for the development of the ideal personality of children. Both parents take care of their children and allow their needs to be met and they can provide a balance of care and protection. The tolerant and supportive attitude of parents means that they allow their children to feel what they want without any restrictions.
How can we categorize family attitudes?
Authoritarian And abusive family attitudes, It is an attitude that destroys the child’s self-confidence and ignores his personality. In authoritarian attitudes, parents impose a strict rule and want the child to obey them unconditionally. Children who grow up in a home dominated by authoritarian parents cannot easily express their anger and negative thoughts.
Excessively permitted family attitudes Children with parents are warm and embraced by their parents. However, within such parents, the child lacks limitations. With a relaxed or incoherent disciplinary style, where the boundaries are not clear, the generally negated behaviors of the child are ignored.
Extra protective family attitude On the other hand, over-protection of parents means giving their child more control and care than they should. In this context, the child may be dependent on his environment and insecure. Parents who are exposed to extra protective attitudes find it difficult to separate from their children by taking on extra protective roles.
Unconnected family attitude Children react differently to the same behavior at different times. Sometimes rewarding and sometimes a behavioral punishment raises doubts about the meaning of the child’s punishment and the nature of the crime. They can be restless, unprincipled people who cannot express their own opinions and opinions.
During adolescence, communication between parents, who will make the biggest contribution to the upbringing of children, is one of the most important issues. It will be much easier for parents who keep themselves open about a quality communication, look at events from their point of view to understand the other side, and show a serious determination in doing so to overcome the difficulties encountered during this time.
Proper and high quality communication not only for adolescence, but for all time ensures that the parent-child relationship is equally strong and resilient. At this point, adolescents ‘ability to make decisions that may affect their future lives and make the right choices without being away from home and without feeling lonely depends largely on their parents’ attitudes.