Tilda biberian mangasar
As the daughter of Javan Bieber, I have a lot to say that I don’t know where to begin.
He has been a tough dad for me. I saw him as a person living in his own world, mingling with his thoughts. A father who talks a little, lives in a pipe, thinks constantly, sometimes writes, sometimes draws …
Of course, I was young then and had a hard time understanding his inner world. In my 20s, I wanted to have a dialogue with him, to talk, to share, and to try to understand him, but the situation brought us so much that we could not achieve it because of his illness.
I knew very little about my father’s past. I heard only memories and stories from my mother. I’m sure my mom doesn’t know so much about my dad’s 25 years of life and struggles. I may be wrong. My mother knew and didn’t tell me, who knows …
We have lived together for 23 years. My father’s attitude towards me, his tendency to protect the family and his pressure bothered me from time to time during my student days. But when I read his 25-year memoir in his recently published book, Dawn of the Prisoners, I realized and got to know him better.
In recent years, he has withdrawn into his own shell and spent his life drawing, sometimes writing, and socializing with his family. He fell in love with Moda and Biyukdar. I remember the days I spent with my dad at Moda Park as a child, the hours we cycled every Sunday in Biocada, and the days when we swam for hours on Moda beach and on the island. I even learned to play backgammon from him. It is impossible to forget them.
He taught me everything. She was a very good family man and a good wife. Despite being a tough personality, his relationship with my mother was always great. Our family life has always been good, since my mother was a good administrator, an intelligent woman. Therefore, I can say that my childhood and youth were good. There are so many things I wanted to experience in my youth but I couldn’t achieve most of them. Now I can understand and appreciate it very well. He has always lived a restless and stressful life. After getting married and with my birth, I can see that she has changed her life, always trying her best to protect us. He is a father who always took care of me during my education. Thanks to him, I have always been a successful student. The fact is that I didn’t get the chance to pursue higher education because it was a bad time in the 1980’s. Due to these incidents I could not continue my studies.
Many years later, when I received a notebook, I realized how caring Dad was to me. For 8 years after I was born, I was fascinated to see him write down every step of my daily menu and turn it into a notebook. He wrote everything from my first steps, my first speech, my behavior on the street, my way of working during school, to the date and time.
In one of his essays, he evaluated my behavior when I was three years old and wrote:
“She is OK. If he bites his tongue or hurts while eating, he turns his head, covers his mouth, makes no sound and stays still until it passes. He never says what happened to him. “
At the age of four;
“When she’s sick, she doesn’t want anyone to see her cry. She cries and screams. “
“‘No one will come, let them see me.’
‘My father shouldn’t come either.’
‘They should see him wipe away his tears, dressed, smiling, straight.’
Many are like that.
I have read these behaviors many times, which I do not remember in my childhood. There are very few fathers who take such intensive care of their children and note their every behavior. This is an indication that Javan Bieberian is a special and perfect person, a father.
I want to see her live longer, to see her creativity and to hear the memories written with her from her own mouth. While reading his memoirs, I would occasionally close the book, take a deep breath and read again. It was very impressive.
He was 63 years old at the time of his death. If he had survived, he would probably have written a lot over time. We do not know. Unfortunately, his experience soon overwhelmed him. It is a pity that the people around her gradually moved away from her to survive, she did not understand him and left him alone… but I do not think of leaving her alone. I’m trying my best. We are working with friends who love and value Bieberians and we will continue to do so. He is no longer alone. There are people who appreciate and value him. He will always be alive with his work. My father was a very valuable writer and a good translator in my eyes, but unfortunately he was not appreciated while he was alive. Now I’m sure she’s watching us and happy. What she wanted to do but she could not survive, I try and try to do as much as possible like her daughter.
Thanks to everyone who helped and supported me along the way. I believe that together we will keep it alive.