Achieving balance in child rearing Serkan Kijilbayir

Dear Readers, In our conversation “Side Seat with Serkan Kizilbayir” this week’s topic is ‘Balance in Child Development’, and my guest is Dr. Armagan Oguz, a Pediatrician at Asibadem Ankara Hospital. A lot of information coming from ear to ear, environmental direction or information pollution can prevent parents from getting accurate information while raising a child. The most important issue in child rearing is the establishment of proper communication and proper balance, Oguz talks about what should be considered during child rearing, how to maintain balance in children and what curiosity there is.

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The main goal is ‘happy baby’

1. Teachers, we need to make an effort to maintain the balance of the present time. The condition of the earth is clear. Does it reflect on us as we raise our children? Why is balance important?

Yes, balance is very important in every aspect of life. This balance becomes even more important when you are a parent. Because our lives are in every way; Influence of social media, our social environment, our own upbringing and cultural environment. Parents experience a lot of stimulation from the environment. On social media, for example, they are constantly confronted with guiding information such as ‘If you don’t do this while raising a child you will become a needy parent, you must buy this toy and show these cards’. Our neighbors or family elders reveal the results of their own experiences and force us to do the same. In addition, they occur frequently or continuously. Inevitably, parents’ ideas about raising children evolve from their own ideas, from their own characteristics, into the pursuit of perfection. This is the point where the mistake starts and the main objective is missed. Because the real target is not the perfect child, but the ‘happy child’.

Achieving balance in child rearing

Reasoning and emotion must be balanced

2. What should we do to balance child rearing?

Balance must first begin within themselves. In fact, it is the most important pillar of balance. Because the child mirrors the parents, that is, they reflect the parents. When parents read, learn and follow the right resources, they are freed from myths and urban legends. Aren’t we all like that? Parenting is not an institution where reason is paramount, it should not be! But there must be a balance of logic and emotion. Rules and freedoms must be balanced. ‘Yes’ and ‘no’ must be balanced. We must respect experience and apply our reasoning. We should also be able to get ideas from our doctors and at the same time fuse these suggestions with our reality at home. Then we go straight. For example, at the age of 2-3 years, when the syndromes hit the ceiling and the child becomes arrogant, we should strike a balance, not only through our own character filters, but also through suggestions from sources you trust. But also through the character of our child. Everything becomes easier when we get the right proportions. Thus, the child begins to understand balance. ‘What can I do? What can I do? ‘ Understands

Achieving balance in child rearing

Learn by watching and doing

3. How does balance and discipline in the home environment affect a child’s self-balance?

You can think of balance like air. It is very important for the baby to breathe comfortably. Because balance brings a safe environment where uncertainty is much less. The positive environment and balance of the parental relationship directly affects the child. Because children learn the most by watching and working. Follow up in the family environment, execute the application in their own personal environment. Here, I would say love, not emotion … In a family where there is a balance of love and reason, children form a much stronger character. The sooner they begin to practice their own emotions and maintain the balance of their reasoning, the healthier individuals will develop.

Achieving balance in child rearing

The rule of love for children

4. There is such a great love that sometimes it can be hard to invite ‘yes reasoning’ on stage. When making rules at home, parents can avoid being ‘strict parents’. Is it really so?

Being a rule-making parent at home is not necessarily a difficult task. Don’t look! Kids like the rules. Because when the rules are balanced with love and understanding, they are something that children enjoy obeying. They also like to get rewards in return. ‘Well done’ we do not like the car! Just like I mentioned, ‘yes and no’, ‘rules and freedoms’ should be balanced and everyone in the house should make the same decision about these rules. ‘No’ should be ‘No’ for both mother and father. Parents should say no to their children and do it themselves. Otherwise, the balance will be easily disturbed and the child will not be able to distinguish between right and wrong.

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