In the age groups in which children are most often angry between the ages of 2 and 5, psychologist and family counselor Irem Naz Karmizi has provided information to families on how to deal with anger in children.
Like joy, anger is normal
Anger is an emotional state of varying intensity that can range from mild anger to intense anger. Anger; It is very normal and healthy like pleasure and excitement, the important thing here is detail concentration and consistency. Like all emotions, anger also has physical and biological symptoms. Flushing of the mouth, attack of crying, trembling in the body, acceleration of heart rhythm, increase in the levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline can be noticed.
Children who are angry may shout, yell, hit, kick, throw to the ground, hit the head, be stubborn, use bad words, clench their fists, and display harmful objects.
Situations that cause angry attacks in children
Failure to meet the basic needs of the child in a timely manner.
There is a difference between the attitude of mother and father.
Weak social relationships.
The presence of a person who can set a negative example for the child.
Negative effects of phones, tablets, televisions.
Extreme virtual game play (especially violent and combat content).
Misconceptions of parents and evaluation of children.
পদ্ধতি Inappropriate punishment has been applied.
করা Reward children for negative behavior by parents.
Domestic problems and the existence of violence.
Harassment by friends at school can cause anger.
It is most often seen between the ages of 2 and 5 years
Anger can be seen from the moment children are born. If food, sleep and hygiene requirements are not met, children may also have problems with anger. The age groups where anger is most prevalent are between 2 and 5 years of age and puberty.
The 2-year-old syndrome can arise between the period of stubbornness and the period of acquiring a social environment. During this time, your child wants to explore the environment and fight for freedom. She may not want to hold your hand, she may refuse your help when she has to climb somewhere, she may want to choose her own food and clothing. When he wants something, he can ask for it. Next, a busy and complex life with the hormones that come into play with adolescence can push our kids to anger. He may feel that no one understands him, he may be driven by different behaviors due to the need to belong to a group, he may feel that he is alone, worthless and inadequate. All of these situations can make children angry and sometimes aggressive. If left unmanaged, they can be left astray and lose the right path.
Family attention to angry children
The best course of action for an angry child is not to be angry with the child, but to keep us calm. Think of it this way, one of your babies is crying loudly and you get angry at her and you start yelling at her. So does this work? No. Conversely, the child begins to accumulate anger towards the person who does not understand and responds to him with anger, and this accumulated anger erupts into anger over time. So, all you have to do is let him feel his anger, set the limits of his behavior, not his emotions.
Anger crises can be avoided
Our attitude toward the angry child is very important. For example; If he doesn’t want to collect his toys and gets angry because of this, if we make a constructive speech like, “Okay, you have to collect the given toys, because when you don’t collect your toys, you don’t play with a new toy. Choose “, we will both understand his feelings and thoughts and leave the choice to him. We can suggest alternatives or help the child control his emotions by focusing on a different area. With these methods, it is possible. Prevent anger attacks by preventing the child from feeling negative, such as not understanding, blocking or rejecting.
What to do to control the anger of children
It may be directed for sports. In this way, aggressive impulses are largely emitted.
It can be useful by being instructed to play a musical instrument. For example, drums, guitars, pianos can be instruments that can channel his anger.
• Punishment and pressure should not be applied.
ইচ্ছা The child’s wishes should not be fulfilled if he shows too much aggression. Thus, aggressive behavior is not enforced and allowed.
াতার Parental attitude should set a good model. Angry parents have angry children, remember they are our mirror.
Angry behavior should never be punished with physical or verbal violence.
• Parents should use “eye language” in such situations. The language of blame must be avoided.
Parents should be patient, determined and calm. They should respond to their anger in a low voice.
Parents should be compatible with each other. If someone says ‘no’, you should not say ‘yes’, but if a decision is made, it should be implemented.
বিকল্প Alternatives should be made to manage his anger. Toy repair, dynamic sand, toy repair equipment can be used. A picture may be drawn, and he may be asked to keep a note or diary to express his anger. Pilgrims cannot go to bed, sandbags can be bought.
Children should not be confronted with aggressive role models.
Every positive behavior should be strengthened, approved, patted and verbally supported. “I Language”, where he never raises his voice, can control his anger and calmly express his feelings and thoughts, can be rewarded if necessary.
• If anger still does not subside and your child harms himself or others, it should not be too late to seek expert help.
• One should be given the right to make decisions while fit for crying. E.g. You have the right to choose 1 when you enter the market Choose, you decide which one you want.
ব্যবহার Use break method when it is suitable for her crying. If you have the opportunity to move to another environment, both parties should move away from each other and calm down. After that, it’s important to come together and communicate, hug and make eye contact.
আগে You have to explain before you say ‘no’. The child needs to know why his wishes are not being fulfilled. E.g. I don’t give sugar before dinner because I don’t want your appetite to stop but it seems like you can finish it.
সে If he does something that will put you in a difficult situation, first explain why he shouldn’t do it. Even then, if he continues his behavior, keep calm and remove him from that environment and do not let him stay in that environment even for a while. If he calms down after your talk, you will positively strengthen his calmness by keeping him in that environment.
How to talk to an angry child?
I don’t understand you when you shout, I’m waiting for you to talk.
You are a little angry now, if you calm down we can decide together.
I understand you, you are very sorry …
I can’t do what you want now, but if you want, we can do this / that.
You can cry, that’s fine. I’ll wait for you here if you want a hug and you want to be calm.