Gankar letter | Dr. Gulserin Budaisioglu

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Many of these are issues that are not discussed, are not discussed, and are considered taboo in society. People What happens in the family She is ashamed to say. This is a lot Betrayal of family As it realizes. He feels guilty, thinking he has insulted his family to others and behaved unbelievably, or he may fear that his future would be negatively affected if he told her about it. Because of this, he often can’t even tell people close to him.

There is a great tradition left

In our culture “Arm is broken, Yen stays in it” But until we can reveal them, the problems do not disappear, on the contrary, they cause great wounds in people; Their lives, their decisions And Their fate Tends to affect. The work does not end here, these customs and practices will be passed on to future generations. A bitter legacy As sent

Also ‘without notice’

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No matter how much we criticize gender inequality, we all get codes that have been processed in our brains for years. It is best illustrated by the language and behavior we use in our daily lives. Although we have come a long way in this regard, we still have a long way to go. In the family, for example Boys and girls behave differently It goes unnoticed by us. I say this without realizing it, because the families that do it are so accustomed to inequality that they actually think they treat their children equally and they ultimately believe it. However, what is written in our subconscious is not easily forgotten, lost and exists even if we do not notice it. It affects our behavior.

Now A letter from a family girl who thinks they treat their daughters and sons equally Let’s read together.

It is painful to be gray

Hello Mrs. Gulseren

At the moment I am writing this letter, as always, in a secluded corner of my car. My car has become my refuge, the only place where I can be free, even my home. She can cry comfortably here and I write this letter crying like this. Who knows what trouble you have heard,Is this also a problem?You may think, ‘But I still want to write to you and tell you what I couldn’t tell anyone.

‘I’m like you’

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I am 23 years old. My life has not been spent with great pain and suffering, but I have a problem that has been killing me since I was little. I live in that house Equality and justice I am a wanted girl. Even this short sentence says a lot. I am at a stage where I want to be born a human being and now I am very tired. I grew up with my siblings. I always had to prove myself. “No matter what you do, I can do it. I’m as strong as you, I’m not fragile, I don’t need protection, I am whatever you are, I have the same rights as you, it’s not a shame for me alone, it’s mine. Not a sin alone, I am yours, I am as precious as you I screamed and survived.

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I know many of my colleagues have gone through a much harder and more painful path than I have, but there is nothing more painful than being gray and restless.

My mother killed her soul

I ended my two year relationship today and I broke up with my fianc. It hurts so much. Am I cheating? When I found out I didn’t want to believe at first. You know, he loved me so much, he always caressed me? I made a mistake to share this pain, this loyalty with my mother. You know what he said to me; “You don’t act like a girl. A woman who works at home is eager to learn how to cook. You do not have any of these. He has found such a girl. “

What my mother said. It hurt me a lot. However, my mother never suffered a bit from life, she was always crushed, always defeated rights, always had to give priority to my father, but she still sees events through the eyes of men, not through the eyes of women. I think my mother has already killed her soul and now she is trying to kill me. How can a person do this with both himself and his daughter, the teacher? These are very powerful for me.

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But I have tried to be a good boy since childhood. I didn’t tarnish my name, I didn’t insult my family, I got engaged to my boyfriend so that my family wouldn’t abuse me, but whatever I did, it didn’t work. But now I’m tired. I don’t want to constantly pay for love.

‘My father is a passive man’

You mean, like, saltines and their ilk, eh? Even recently my mother “Do you realize that you are angry with your father and want a husband like your father?”“That’s probably right. My dad is a very passive person. To this day we children have not seen his love or care. He has not beaten us, but he has never hugged us, as if he were afraid to touch us. He comes home from work, eats dinner and Immediately goes to coffee, then goes back to bed.His life is such a routine.

Gankar's letter

Even one night at my mom’s dinner. “Bless your hand “ We didn’t hear you. There are some addresses that touch human blood. She calls each of us by different names, especially my mother. Then this situation is perceived as a joke at home. If you know how to joke, play a good joke one day and boil our blood instead of freezing it.

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‘Mother is pleased with him’

On the other hand, my mother does all the cleaning, cooking, shopping and making a living for her without any objection. “My dad loves him, but for some reason we don’t see that love,” he said. We never saw her say anything nice to my mom, compliment her, get a gift or remember her birthday. But my mother still says that my father valued her, did not beat her, did not abuse her. So she is satisfied with her husband.

‘That was my first love’

As I write these, it seems that you are in front of me and I am looking into your eyes, and the eyes are matched. So I got engaged to someone like my father, whom I was always angry with. She was my first love. He was a sad man who lost his mother, unable to fix himself. He was respectful and mature. I tried my best to support him. I was happy to be with him without saying ‘off’ at all. I didn’t stop at anything, I said we would work together, we would do it, I didn’t ask him for anything. I dreamed of someone who respects me and does not see his love as his service. I really believed he was just that kind of person. How wrong I was.

In a recent article “The roads we used to walk on have now turned into asphalt. Like everything else, the reality of society changes over time. You wrote. My eyes filled with tears as I read this because I still have to fight the old truths of that trail. Is it just me? I’m sure many young people in the world Victims of the old truth Being. My Mao is not one of them?

Will the old, fragrant truth not leave us? They think I’m useless again, but I see that my mother is OK. Just like that, I did what I learned from my childhood to my fianc. I always had to put something extra on the table to like. And I always gave it to my fianc, whenever she needed it I was there for her, both materially and morally. I never thought of asking him what he had given me. Again, like my mother, I always “She loves me, values ​​me“I said. I think that’s what you call a destiny motif.

How the world will understand

Now I’m thinking How does my fianc look like my dad? To my mother, will we be the girls who always strive for sacrifice, compromise and love? Wouldn’t there be someone who would love, understand, respect, and act like us? When will the world liberate our girls and women and give us our rights?

You may never read what I wrote, but thank you. Even if you don’t read, I think I’m talking to you. Thank you for listening and understanding me. Although it is fictional, it is better understood by someone.

In my deepest respect and sincere love …

Bud

Stop doing it yourself

The letter came from a young girl who had to prove to herself that she could do what men could and eventually rebelled. Dear Buds, How beautifully he described the inequality and injustice between men and women, which has been going on for ages and unfortunately still exists today, half openly and half secretly, through both himself and his mother. Never got up from his mother “I’m precious too! I am too!” She almost hugged and cried for him. When he looked inside himself, his anger increased because he saw someone like his mother, whom he was very angry with.

Gankar's letter

Congenital What is a victim?

So, while reading the letter “Are all the girls born in our country born victims?” The question comes to mind. Moreover “I wonder if women stop being women and try to be like men to achieve equality?” One way or another. “Since you don’t see me, if I can’t be like myself, I’ll be like you, like you.” What does he say?

Justice will come from women in this world

Dear women …

Let us continue to be as intelligent, sensitive, fragile, thoughtful, creative, loving, compassionate, empathetic and hardworking people as women. But on the other hand, let us never forget that no one can establish the justice and equality we want for ourselves. Let’s remember that as women, we don’t have to look like men to be considered equal. That equality, that justice that we miss so much, the day when we will best understand ourselves that we do not need to put anything extra on the table to get love. Let us show what we are not shown, but what we are not shown. Let’s start giving ourselves that respect, that importance, that value.

Gankar's letter
Let’s make it seem strange to us that we want to establish equality and justice “like a woman.” Let’s take men to that equality and justice. Let’s not forget that they are also discriminated against from different angles and the pressure on them should not be ignored. Justice will come from women in this world; Because they are both strong enough to defend their own rights and loving and passionate enough to bring everyone to justice …

You’re on the right track, Ganaka

Dear going,

You are on the right track despite a lot of hardships. Absolutely nothing new can be discovered so easily without difficulty. You have seen the truth in time and followed the pattern of destiny. Don’t worry, the events you see will make you forget all your pain after a while. You have seen the motive of destiny so clearly and explained it so beautifully, believe me, you will change this destiny. You will stop being pure and gray, and you will chase your dreams just like a butterfly comes out of its cocoon. Just don’t give up.

Good luck.

Stay with love

You send me your letter too. drgbudayiciogluiletisim@madalyonklinik.com You can send it.

We will meet next week in the story of a man of our country and get to know the inner worlds of the people of our country.

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