We couldn’t help each other Relationships

Hello Mrs. Yesim. I have been reading your writing for a long time. It’s been almost 1.5 years since I fell into despair … Believe me, I’ve read all the answers you give to your readers to find a way for yourself. How many times have I written and deleted? As I write these lines, I cry, believe me, I can’t do anything else. I have been married for 8 years, I have a daughter, I am 37 years old. I married my wife of my own choice, but it was a marriage of logic, Mrs. Yesim. When I was in university, I had some heartbreak, I said to myself, “Men should love more”. My wife loved me very much… she loved me very much… she still loves me a lot, I got married by reason and got married. But there was always a flaw in me and I had a lot of difficulty with that, especially when it came to sex. I always like to hug him and spend time together, my best friend, but at the stage of the relationship we were never complete. I always feel dissatisfied. Then, when we said I had a daughter or something, we did everything right. My daughter turned 5 years old, we became a family. From the outside, we are a very good couple, we are both well-educated people who are loved by their friends and family. But I made a mistake, Mrs. Yesim… I fell in love with a married man at work. She also has 2 children, aged 44. I don’t know how it happened, I’m ashamed to write it, but we had such a strong feeling that we couldn’t help each other… we started a business, but it was a ridiculous situation where I cried and suffered every day. On the one hand, you say why we haven’t met before, you always wish you could, on the other hand, you feel guilty. “My family, does his family deserve it?” You say you can’t look anyone in the face. We talked for about 4 months, Mrs. Yesim, we went to dinner a few times whenever we had the chance … we talked and chatted all the time, always kissed a few times at most, it was not possible anymore. He never expected sex or anything, but these experiences were so powerful that if he hadn’t finished it I wouldn’t have finished it … He had other problems, and when it was added, he couldn’t handle it. “Let’s finish in the interest of both of us.” “We are not children, yes I do, but we are adults. It doesn’t have to happen. We see each other for a few hours and then it doesn’t go on, I can’t make a plan with you, it hurts a lot. We always have to meet in secret, a few hours of joy is not enough for me. It hurts when I leave you, I can’t take it, “she said. I knew it wouldn’t happen, Mrs. Yesim, but I thought about divorce for a while because I couldn’t live with this burden, I kept crying. Still can’t fit this situation on myself, “Are you the person who will fall into this situation? Don’t you have values ​​or ethics? How are you so helpless? “I say. I always thought it would work, yes we knew we could not meet, but when it was over I couldn’t stand it. Do you believe, in front of my eyes he was 2 years old .. My heart is broken too. But we said we have nothing to do, we can’t think for ourselves. It’s been more than 1 year since I finished, but we’re in the same environment. Ask me how this 1 year went. It’s like a ghost. , Like a soul … it doesn’t happen that we don’t talk at all, we don’t talk let’s be friends, I hate it, we don’t look at each other’s face because they are helpless I have a very good wife with everything, someone whose I can blend in very well, but these feelings are always missing; I miss love, passion and sex too … “Why should I die without feeling these feelings when I first feel them? Is it wrong with me? No? ” I say, but then our children, family… we have no right to think for ourselves. I can’t do this with my wife. I bought ah from someone, but all this happened to me, I say. When I had a very decent life, I poisoned myself with my own hands, I did not enjoy life. I’m afraid I’ll get sick because I torture myself. I admit that this will not happen again, Mrs. Yesim, we have no future, we can’t hurt anyone. But please help me how can I get rid of this pain? There is no chance for me to change my job, for me or for him at least 3 4 years … It hurts a lot, if he talks to someone else I get jealous. He is upset when he hears about his family and his wife. If I miss it if I’m away, it won’t happen. I have turned my life into a dungeon … We know it won’t happen, it hurts when we open these problems. “Let’s not open up, but always be around me, let’s talk, let’s chat, it’s enough for me to see you. I agree with that too.” But I can’t do it, I don’t know how I should treat this man… I’m crying and weeping, please show me a way, Mrs. Yesim. What shall I do, no more pain? I want to go back to my old happy state of happiness… I want to leave it behind.

Yesim Tijen’s answer:

Hello, dear reader, I must say that as a woman, I was very impressed by your mail. When emotions begin to awaken in people and they start dreaming, they start to wonder. My argument should be married or love should be married? Didn’t we all ask ourselves this question? We have asked, and many have married without realizing it, perhaps without finding themselves, for many reasons, good and bad in their lives. Those who do not find themselves and get married without understanding and inevitably leave in the hands of life, then life comes upon you and tests you in various ways. You run backwards, some of you dare to walk in life. This is all about how much plus and how much is missing in your hands. Of course, there are things that affect your workplace, your courage, your values, how many children you have, your job, your finances রয়েছে having a good wife and innocent children… in which case you have to overcome every woman or Men can’t do it, they shouldn’t, conscience is a heavy burden, good hearted people can’t find peace with it. Spending for the love of family, spouse and children is very valuable.

I have an acquaintance whom I love very much, I love to talk to him and spend time with him. We get together from time to time, mostly because we talk about ourselves and sometimes about current events and women’s issues. Again, when I was talking to him one day, when he said that he was very angry at the women who divorced their wives for love, I laughed, then I realized that my dear friend had not experienced love. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either, Looks like BT aint for me either, Looks like BT aint for me either, Looks like BT aint for me either, Looks like BT aint for me either, Looks like BT aint for me either, Looks like BT aint for me either Also, if you can’t say the most special thing to the person in front of you through your words, you can say it with your body language. You are sad to understand; You only feel sorry for a woman who was happy, satisfied as much as she was happy, couldn’t ask for more than that, was satisfied and accepted whatever came her way. Can’t do anything but get upset. When you reach a certain age, you will not like to read the life of a woman like a letter in front of you. You are surrounded by poles and poles who are very unhappy, do not care, do not love enough, are tolerant of each other, pretend to love and are happy. These people were like lighters that never burned in their union. When you finally notice a small fire, you just light your cigarette, isn’t it bad? There are also men and women whose hearts burn when they see them again… here, these burning hearts and bodies are always burning in love, the feeling is different. Yes, dear reader, love is a wonderful feeling as you feel it. It is unfortunate that many women cannot feel this feeling when it is such a beautiful feeling, but you are lucky among such unfortunate people, you have fallen in love even for a short time and have experienced mutual love. After that, you should remember your responsibility towards that beautiful, good wife because, dear reader, the more you pay attention to what you don’t have, the more you will feel inadequate and unhappy. Anyway, yes, there is love, but you have a very perfect wife and a beautiful daughter. You can’t afford to spend your heart on someone.

If your wife was not a good wife, if the man you fell in love with did not have two children because you had only one child, I would say, take care of your child and live in this love. Look, I’m not saying. I keep saying if it weren’t for that. The man you love has two children, those children need their father very much. You have a perfect wife, it would be a shame for all of them to sin. You can get rid of this heartache and illness by focusing only on the positive aspects of your life, looking at them more, showing yourself the positive aspects of your husband and reminding him of your responsibilities. Of course, your life doesn’t get better all of a sudden, but you can end it anyway if you want to. Both you and that gentleman have ended the relationship by doing what is right for you. There should be point to point in the interests of both families. You need to keep your coexistence in the same workplace while maintaining greater distance from each other. You should embrace your life as a beautiful, precious memory. She is indebted to you, your wife and your daughter. The less you think about this union, the farther you go. How much you will be present in your own life is somewhat involved in overcoming this situation. If a woman wants, she can achieve anything, I’m sure you will. I have seen a strong woman who did not give in to what she went through, who kept to herself, and that is why I believe you will succeed.

Love for my dear readers …

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