Women who have been victims of male violence (30): “My father tried to suffocate my mother with a scarf, he threw a knife at me, I can’t forgive him even if I die”

Cemre * (32) At the age of 15 he began to protect his mother from his father’s violence. The age of the woman who has to take this responsibility at the age of 15 is advancing in this way. When her mother becomes a victim of violence, Semare both tries to protect her other two siblings, who go under the table and try to prevent her mother from being abused by her father. She has been abused by her father in Seymour for almost five years because of this. Unable to bear the latest domestic violence, Semere is getting married at the age of 21. We talked with Semmer about his experience, the impact of his responsibilities in his life as a child, his imperfect childhood and his anger towards his father.

“My father always had an excuse to beat my mother.”

Semmer has two sisters. Although there is not much age difference between her and her siblings, Semare has to be their mother because her mother is working. It was both his remorse and his pride, who told his siblings that he was only 12 when he first made the meal, and had to put his childhood aside. “I couldn’t read, but I let my brothers read.” Says:

“I had to grow up from a very young age. If I can’t reach the stove, I’ll sit in the chair and cook, I have to do it. My mother predicted me very well, I was like a 13 year old woman. My mother used to go to work, I did not know where my father went. When I was trying to finish elementary school, I was trying to raise and educate my siblings. My mother was always abused by my father. He brought money home, ‘Why did you bring so little money?’ She has been tortured, she has cleaned the house ‘Why isn’t this place clean?’ He has seen violence. My father always had an excuse to beat my mother. My mother had nowhere to go. After a certain age, I couldn’t stand my mother’s frustration. “

“I’ll kill you and your mother too.”

As Cemre grows older, he can no longer bear to go through his mother. Cemre, 15, who intervenes when her mother is a victim of violence, also faces violence from her father. Trying to stand up to his father’s violence, Cemre only wants his mother not to be a victim of violence:

“As I got older, I couldn’t stand my mother’s abuse. I felt like my dad was hurting my heart when I hit him. When I first objected, I turned to my father and said, ‘If you kill my mother, I will never love you again.’ My father tooIf you don’t like it, don’t love it. I don’t like you either I will kill you and your mother. He said and gave me a shot. I knew my dad didn’t love us, but I think it hurt even more. That day was my turning point. After that day, my mother and I were both exposed to violence. I was not sorry for myself, it hurt my mother even more. “

“My brothers were watching my mother being tortured under the table.”

At age 21, Cemre cannot tolerate domestic violence and is married to a man she has known for two weeks. A knife is thrown at Semer, who has been subjected to all sorts of violence by his father for six years and has tried to suffocate his mother with a scarf. While all this is going on, her two sisters are trying to protect themselves, sometimes in the wardrobe and sometimes under the table. Cemre’s biggest fear is that his father will harm his siblings:

“I was terrified of hurting my brothers. While trying to prevent violence against my mother, I was abused by my father every day. My mother reacted even more violently when she tried to protect me. One night we woke up to my mother’s screams. She took my mother’s scarf and tried to suffocate with it. We couldn’t sleep, we thought every time we slept, we would see my mother dead in the morning. My biggest fear was that he would harm my brothers after us. When they threw knives at me or when they abused my mother, they saw us being abused under the table. At age 21, I married someone I knew for a short time. I took it with my brothers. “

“I felt the same confidence that I didn’t feel with my dad when I was with the man I knew for two weeks.”

Cemre, who has taken a new path next to a man he has never met, feels more secure. Her life was called into question by the man she had known for two weeks, who could not trust her father:

“I married someone I met nearby. The one I married is five years older than me. I didn’t pay attention to anything. I just wanted to protect housewives from my father’s violence, and I did. First I took the brothers. I wanted to take my mother too, but she didn’t want to leave him in spite of everything. During this time, we learned that my father had cancer. My mom thought my dad couldn’t take care of her, and she didn’t have one. ‘I’m going to die too’ He was saying. Believe me, I will never feel sorry for my father. “

“Even though my dad died, I couldn’t forgive him.”

Cemre’s marriage is going smoothly, but he is still worried about his mother. Her father’s illness is getting worse by the day, but Cemre doesn’t feel sorry for her and never forgives her father. The woman, who wanted to save her mother from this situation, lost her father in the second year of her illness:

“I can’t stand my mother staying in the same house as her. My father’s illness was getting worse, but I was for my mother, not my father. ‘Leave that house’ I was praying. We lost my father in the second year of his illness. I even went to his janaza out of formality. I have surpassed myself, but I will never forget what I did to my brother and my mother, and I will never do it. It’s been many years since my father died, but I still can’t forgive him. “

Cemre, now 32, graduated from Open High School and educated his siblings. He was able to build a new life for his siblings and mother. Cemre, who believes that women who have been victims of male violence should not give up like her mother, “I’ve been fighting male violence since I was 15 and I will continue to do so.” Said

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