Show hope as soon as you tell the kids about the fight

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Do not exceed the response
Marmara University (MU) Atatুrk, Faculty of Education, Head Professor of Preschool. Dr. Ozana Ural said, “The first duty of parents is to keep the news of violence and war away from children as much as possible. If they see accidentally, parents and viewers need to use offensive language in a way that does not go unnoticed by them, “he said.
“If the child says he has heard of the war from his friends, parents should make a calm statement that includes the message ‘bad things are happening, my child.’ The child must also answer the question of why people kill each other and why there is war. It is very important to have a positive sentence here. Depending on the age of the child, hope should be inspired by messages such as ‘This situation must be resolved’, ‘I am reading the good news, peace will come’.

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It scares us
However, young children fear that “it could happen to me” without asking these questions. This is the worst. Reassuring statements like ‘We have peace in our country’ and ‘Our country chooses peace’ should be given. Calm down and despise. Because when the child hears that someone else’s father has died, the biggest part of his grief is “If something happens to my father too”. So war is like that. Positive examples should be shown. ‘Some of the adults do bad things unfortunately, but there are many who do good things. They are running a charity campaign, so we can do as much as we can. We support according to our strength. Words like ‘We will at least wish you well’ are effective.

School and family collaboration
School administrators and teachers as well as parents should be sensitive about this and everyone should cooperate. Teachers need to teach parents how to talk about these issues at home. We need the cooperation of adults to reduce the negative impact. Because this war is the work of adults, but children are the most affected by the war. “

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Journalists enhance reality
Professor Dr. mentioned that our perception of war has changed a lot since the Gulf War. Dr. Ojana Ural said, “War television is often seen as a video game. We see everything from afar. As adults, we even have a hard time internalizing war. Pictures of explosions or pictures of light have been shared somewhere. But we do not understand what it is. Therefore, broadcasters send their reporters to those areas, interviewing, broadcasting and taking pictures, which reinforces reality and destroys the concept of video games. “

Problems can be solved by talking
“Violent behavior is contagious and offensive, just like COVID-19. Like a fire in a pine cone, exposure to violence can set an entire forest on fire, just as a pine cone spreads to the environment and burns them out, because violence can cause traumatic effects as well as an educated behavior, “said Hacettepe, Faculty of Education, Guidelines and Psychological Counseling. Dr. Nilufer Koktark says:

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Show hope as soon as you tell the kids about the fight

“We must keep children away from images of violence in the media and prevent these scenes from having a traumatic effect on our children. Also, as the most important cognitive message that shapes their behavior, we must ensure that children do not see war / violence as a way to gain control and become stronger. On the contrary, we should teach our children that we are empowered by choosing to treat others positively and that we should be role models for them in our own lives as adults. In the messages we give to children, we should emphasize that violence does not solve problems and creates new problems, we can create constructive solutions instead of violent behavior and no one will be hurt. Also, make sure that the best solution is to solve the problem by talking instead of fighting. Appreciate your child finding non-violent solutions to the problems you face in your daily life. Let your child know that it is normal to have strong emotions like anger, rage or jealousy, but it is unacceptable to teach them alternative ways to express these emotions through violence and to show these intense emotions. “Class =” medianet-inline-adv “>

What should parents do?
Lecturer in the Department of METU North Cyprus Campus Guidance and Psychological Counseling Assoc. Dr. Aslı Bugay Sökmez lists the following how children should be defined by age:

Show hope as soon as you tell the kids about the fight

1. Be prepared to talk about war.
2. Do not start a conversation on this topic until the child asks and do not open these topics with him.
3. Be aware of your own emotional turmoil.
4. Give the message that you are safe, the war is far away.

Period of pre-school and primary school
– When asking questions about war, give short and clear answers.
– If you have any questions, leave the message “My door is always open”.
– Say, “War is going on in many countries, this is a very important issue, but we are safe”.
– Don’t get too emotional.
– Keep the message simple.

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Middle school and high school period
– Secondary and high school children may have specific questions about war, talk about them. – Ask your child what he is thinking and feeling.
– Do research and learn together where you are limited.
– War can trigger military service and future anxiety, especially among boys. Therefore, talk about the situations in which your child will feel safe.

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