With an emphasis on following parallel trajectories in almost all development fields, Prof. Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen says that first of all, in order to achieve a certain maturity in terms of human cognitive skills, a safe attachment relationship must be developed between mother and child. Professor Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen says, “The kids you think don’t understand actually understand a lot more. He makes important observations and recommendations about childhood, which are the basis for raising confident individuals, “the only way to understand them is to have a special system with a unique filter of thought, different from that of adults.”
“The baby should be made to think, ‘Even if my mother leaves, she will come back.'”
Professor Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen says that the most important discovery in cognitive development in childhood is the concept of the permanence of matter. He explained that the permanence of objects is a state of consciousness that real-world objects exist despite being out of sight. So similarly, he said, it is the scientific definition of the word “out of sight becomes out of mind” for the child.
Noting that this ability should be acquired between the ages of 1.5-2 years, Professor. Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen said, “Another dimension of this concept is the continuity of personality. For the baby, discard it if the “person” is not visible. Considering that the most important person for the child, the person who meets all his needs and takes care of him, is his mother, it is normal for the child to protest this incident, thinking that he has disappeared, up to 1.5 years of age. 2 years, when his mother disappeared from his sight. However, as soon as the child, object, and person acquires its continuity, he realizes that life goes on where he is, and can say, “My mother will return even if she leaves.”
“Secure connectivity plays an important role”
On the other hand, while examining the social development features of childhood, Professor. Dr. “Safe attachment plays an important role in a child’s ability to solve problems in a positive way,” Ozen said. In other words, the child who has achieved the continuity of the person through cognitive development, if he finds his mother as consistently as he needs, then he will have a secure attachment to her. Thus, the child’s thoughts say, “People do not disappear when they disappear from my sight, I know now. Since my mother was by my side whenever I needed her, even if she was gone now, she would come back and take care of me … “she said.
“The baby should discover that his mother is an individual.”
The part of childhood that we can define as self-development is the child’s response to separation, Professor. Dr. Ozen said, “By the age of 1.5-2, the child is busy exploring the relationship between his behavior and the consequences of this behavior. For example, he has learned how far he has to go to catch an object, what happens when a dinner plate is pushed from the edge of a table, his hands are part of his body, but railings are not part of his body. The professor said that as he had learned that the bed rail was not a part of his body, the child should understand that his mother was a separate entity at this time. Within the framework and in the thought that “he who goes away does not return”, his mother reacts when he disappears from her sight.
He drew attention to the fact that if the thought “my mother was not there for me when I needed her” was fixed in the child and the belief that “his mother should not be separated from him, that he was a part of her” Prof. Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen emphasized the importance of understanding the child’s “personal continuity” that his mother was a separate entity from his own, and most importantly, with his mother. Building trust in the relationship you have established. Only in this way, when the child is separated from his mother can he keep her calm. Has it always been like this until today? … “Even if he is not in the same place, he develops such thoughts. He may feel that it is coming back. This relationship of faith is a very important process that will affect a person’s whole life.
“Children should not be judged from the point of view of adults”
Professor Dr. Ozen determined that it was normal for a child to have these reactions until the age of 2, and the main problem was that he continued to give these reactions even after the age of two. “It should never be forgotten that the child acquires the continuity of the person on the one hand, on the other hand, he makes some effort to test the relationship he has established with his mother. It is not easy for adults to understand them. That is why a child should never be judged on the basis of an adult’s point of view. “This does not mean that it does not fit into the thinking of adults and that such reactions are meaningless,” he said. “These reactions, which have a meaning for the child, should be understood and explained by adults.”
“Mom I don’t think you’ll go back when you’re back and I’m so scared.”
Professor Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen advised mothers with examples of child behavior. Professor Dr. “If a child is two years old, his mother feels uncomfortable when he goes to work, and when the mother returns, he behaves as if he is demanding one attention after another,” Ozen said. I don’t think he’ll come back when you’re gone, and I’m really afraid … “The size should be considered. Didn’t.
“Mom needs to respond consistently”
Professor Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen suggested that in order to solve this problem, the study of “reconstruction” in mother-child interaction should be started first. The mother must draw consistent and keep her words, arguing that Professor. Dr. Dilek Cervanli Ozen continues:
“Building a relationship based on trust, the mother begins to respond to the child’s needs in a timely and consistent manner, focusing on the regularity of return time, this separation deceives the child, not runs away, but explains to him when he returns.” That’s what I told you. I’ll go for so many hours and then I’ll come back and see I’m back … Kids may not have watches on their wrists like adults or they may not seem to understand explanations like adults. However, never forget this. Not to mention that they also have a watch on their head and this watch is a very punctual watch when the events around it work in a certain order. Maybe she’s been waiting for him every day since 5:30 in the afternoon. Has its own filter, different from adults. “