Are you a hopeless romantic? | Relationships

Hopeless romantic means utopian lover. Desperate romantics take a utopian and emotional outlook on love despite having negative past experiences or opposite information. After all, love comes first, and even if it doesn’t, it’s seen as a happy experience. The word ‘hapless’ here refers to their bravery in approaching love with this shamelessness, even when conflicting situations arise.

Therapist Shanta Jackson says, “Happless romantics often fall in love with an ideal, not a real person.” From day one, they start making some kind of emotional investment and are committed to falling in love anyway. The person they love easily occupies the space reserved for them.

It may sound good to fall in love easily and always have a positive attitude towards the relationship, after all, it is more creative than negative. However, reality rarely matches the fantasy that battles hopeless romantics.

So how do you know you’re a hopeless romantic?

1- The red line is not noticeable

Separation training center Allen says hopeless romantics “fly over the flashing red line” because they are too involved in the idea of ​​love. It is clear that the person you are in love with is not suitable for you, but you ignore the potential problems and red lines that should not be crossed when you look through your rose-colored glasses. Santa Jackson added, “You’ve focused too much on the traits that made you fall in love in the first place.” This is why warning signs are skillfully ignored, until you see them again until you can look the other way.

2- You fall in love fast and hard

When we develop emotion at the very beginning of a relationship, we hold on to an idea rather than a partner. After a point, who is on the other side of the equation is not considered. When you imitate another person, it becomes impossible to look like them. Not only this, with the help of fire you can do welding.

3- Dreams of love and marriage fly in the air

Many have an idea of ​​how they want to get married. But if your dream of marriage and living happily ever after, you even know what song you are going to dance to at the wedding, and the ‘companion’ part of this dream changes, you are a simple hopeless romantic!

4- Things can be easily poisoned

Desperate romantics tend to find themselves in toxic relationships because at first everything is like a dream and when reality comes, frustration spreads. Sometimes you do everything in your power to make the other person love you and you become toxic. It is very easy to fall prey to manipulation if the emotion is too much.

5- You find yourself in a one-sided relationship

Relationships are not always made with a 50-50 balance of giving and taking. Sometimes it is 60-40%, sometimes it is 70-30%. However, if you are always on the side that weighs in this balance of giving and receiving and you are always the giver, it probably means that the other person does not value this relationship as much as you do.

6- Everything else is unimportant

For desperate romantics, the only agenda is love and everything else is unimportant. When you begin to neglect your friends, interests, and hobbies, devoting all your energy and effort to chasing an emotional carrot, you lose yourself along the way.

So what to do now?

“There’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, believing in true love, appreciating romance and seeking a fairy-tale relationship,” Allen said. “The problem with being a hopeless romantic comes from a lack of awareness about being romantic. If you are someone who is in love with someone close to you and you are not aware of it, things can go awry.”

Desperate romantics are more prone to difficult breakups because they invest too quickly in relationships. Since many more dreams have been destroyed, they feel that they are losing a large part of themselves during the separation and this is sometimes very painful. Sometimes they are in a hurry to start a new relationship.

Reckless romantics can frustrate themselves when they realize that the dream fairy tale is just a dream. It’s okay to be romantic and daydreaming, unless you move forward with enough awareness. However, it is useful to maintain a realistic understanding of what is happening!

References:

Acamea Deadwiler. “What does it mean to be happily romantic + how it can affect your dating life”. Collected from: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/hopeless-romantic. (14.06.2021)

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