In some families, the decision to start a kindergarten for a child cannot be made. Mothers think deeply about this, especially with the fear of illness, disorder, separation from their children, and the fear that their peers may harm their children unintentionally. However, if it is decided to start kindergarten, the biggest problem is whether the child is ready for it. Even if she has never been to kindergarten, it is inevitable for children to go to kindergarten. So, what should be considered to ensure that pre-school children are accustomed to school? Aynur Sayım, a child and adolescent psychologist from Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center, has learned the psychological side of the process of starting kindergarten and kindergarten, which is a difficult but sweet excitement for parents, and answers to the questions that occupy their minds the most.
Why is pre-school education important for children?
Kindergarten and kindergarten is the child’s first social environment with rules. Home is very important in terms of physical, mental and social dimensions of development. That the child spends more time with his or her parents in the home environment, provided there is a healthy bond with the caregiver during the first period; From the age of 2.5-3 years, it is necessary to enter into a more intense social environment. The time he spends with his peers is invaluable for his social development. In school; The child who obeys the rules becomes social as he begins to learn to share, to wait, and to control his emotions. At the same time, there are benefits to language development, modeling, sampling and emotional development. Most importantly, it takes an important step in the process of personalization. He took steps to survive in the social environment as an individual without leaving his family with him. The most common problem in children starting kindergarten or kindergarten is “Separation Anxiety Disorder”. This is due to the problem of child separation process. It is seen in children of anxious, protective parents. Especially at the age of 2-3, families who prevent the child from trying on their own and dealing with anxiety prevent the child from having this process in a healthy way. The child who is separated from the family thinks that he cannot do anything on his own and feels lonely, scared, cries. In other words, the most important contribution of kindergarten and kindergarten is its contribution to the process of child separation.
From the age of 2.5-3 years, children can start kindergarten. Initially, a half-day program per day may be preferred. There are also programs 3 days a week, but it is not highly recommended. Because the goal is the child’s regular discipline. Activities, games, etc. that a child misses on a day when he or she does not go can negatively affect a child’s friendship.
The process of preparing the baby
In fact, this process is related to the process until the child starts school. It is a process that prepares the baby for life. The family attitude encourages the child to be confident. In this case, the child is already ready for school. Self-care skills should provide support, food, clothing and responsibility. Family socialization is an important issue here. You need to see other people frequently and make sure the child is playing with their peers. The concept of school maturity should also be known. School maturity; This means that the child has reached a certain level of physical, mental, social and emotional development and is ready to successfully fulfill what is expected of him in school. In the first years, a negative perception of school is formed which affects the whole academic life of the individual. Parents should ensure that their children develop in parallel with their peers in all areas of development.
“Don’t say that the fear of school will go away.”
Anorexia, sleep disturbances, restlessness, irritability, irritability, shyness, introversion, apathy towards school activities are seen in children with school phobia. If he doesn’t go to school, it becomes difficult to start school. The family’s “let’s wait a minute, maybe it’s over” approach is wrong. This method only exacerbates the problem.
Child and Adolescent Psychologist, Specialist Psychologist Aynur Sayım
How do you know if your child is mature in school?
Children mature in school;
– His body needs to be used comfortably,
– Must be able to provide physical coordination,
– Must have fine muscle development to hold pen and write,
– Must have adequate vocabulary in language development,
– Have enough confidence in the context of social and emotional development,
– Establish a secure relationship with their parents,
– Must be able to achieve safe separation,
– Must be able to take responsibility
– Must have the ability to solve social problems,
– Should be able to sit quietly in group activities,
– Listening and following instructions,
– Must be able to meet their own needs in areas like cleaning, feeding, dressing and resting. We can say that kindergarten and kindergarten is a preparation process for acquiring and organizing all these skills.
We call a situation a school phobia where a child is afraid to go to school and shows signs of intense anxiety and panic during school hours. Somatic complaints such as abdominal pain, headaches, nausea, crying, irritability, and even nausea-aggression are seen to increase as school time approaches. After school, these symptoms disappear.
How is it noticed?
One. This is in the form of separation concerns among most children who have just started kindergarten and elementary school. Children do not want to be separated from their parents or caregivers. It is especially seen in children who grow up as dependent on their families. Extra protective families prevent the child from being unique. The child’s self-confidence is low in social situations. She doesn’t know how to act when she’s alone, she’s scared.
2nd. This can be in the form of a response to a situation at school. The teacher’s behavior is like teasing his friends.
3. Mental Illness (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder / Special Learning Disability / Intellectual Disability / Behavioral Disorder / Depression-Social Phobia, etc.) Family rejection problems, divorce, siblings staying home and not going to school, sibling jealousy, family deaths, accidents and illnesses can also be reasons for school rejection. In this situation, if the family pressure is added, the child will be in trouble. Even if she is judged, her anxiety increases, she panics and school rejection can turn into a school phobia. And he can say that he is afraid of the teacher and can’t go with his friends as the reason.
What should be done?
– Intimidation, threats, violence, judgment should not be used.
– The child reacts emotionally to a situation that bothers him. This is the best way to realize it and try to understand it. It is necessary to be empathetic towards the child and try to understand him.
– Any situation and emotion needs to find out the reason for school rejection and work to solve this problem.
– For this the family has to take the help of psychiatric center. Psychiatric approach and psychotherapy should be taken together.
– The family must determine the child’s attendance at school. However, the child should realize that this problem is of concern to the whole family, not just the child.
– Teachers and families should cooperate closely. The teacher’s reassuring and non-assertive style is important.
Posted by Aytulike KESKIN