More than a question Won’t you call our parents?

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There are those who say, “My wife’s family is also my family now” and call them ‘parents’ without any difficulty, who think this is very shameless and unreasonable and call them “uncles” or “you”. . .

However, how to address the parents of a husband and wife after marriage is a matter that creates tension even before marriage. Even those who almost threw the ring because of this problem. We also talked to married people who had difficulty with this, who took the form of not saying ‘mother-father’ and who could not go back to ‘aunt-uncle’ even after saying ‘mother-father’ once.

‘Grandpa’ instead of ‘Mother’

EB / 44

Ever since I decided to marry my girlfriend, I’ve been adamant about this: I didn’t want to call my wife’s parents “parents.” Neither I nor my family made such a request to her … but my wife’s family was obsessed with it. They are very angry because their grandchildren did not tell their parents, they are very optimistic about me.

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I didn’t get a chance to say “Mom, Dad” because I was under so much pressure. I tried not to address as much as possible, I tried to deal with physical contact while I was together. Then I had a baby and it came to my rescue. Now, instead of saying “Mom, Dad” or gossip, I thought I ran away saying “Grandma, Grandpa”, but I was wrong. I thought they did not pay attention because no one was listening, it turned out that they were not just talking in my mouth.

I met my wife’s cousin the other day, she told me: “Little brides don’t say ‘mom and dad’, otherwise they pretend to be ‘grandparents'”. I was very angry at first, but then I realized, I said, “I made the right decision because talking behind my daughter can’t be called motherhood …”

Can’t i call you dad

Kan G./36

I have been married for two and a half years. My wife and I do not call each other’s mother ‘mother’. In fact, it was not an issue we have discussed or decided before, I can say that the situation has improved and progressed that way. Although our mothers at first thought it was weird, they got used to it over time and had no stress. But there was one thing I was very sensitive to that I said before marriage; Dad thing I lost my dad 14 years ago. I won’t go into details, but I knew very well that I didn’t want to call anyone else ‘Daddy’, even when I had no idea of ​​marriage.

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I shared these feelings with my current wife while I was still engaged, “Dad is a very sensitive word to me. I haven’t used this word in many years and I don’t think I can use it,” I said. It doesn’t matter if I love my father-in-law or not. As I said, I made my decision before I met my wife.

My wife understood this situation. Knowing this problem bothered me a lot, he decided to talk to his father himself. She shares the sensitivity of my experience with her father, and the matter is closed, never to be opened again. It was very important to me that my husband and his family show understanding. Otherwise, I’m not sure how our relationship would have developed.

My own mother is upset if I don’t say mother

IS / 31

Before our wedding it was one of the most talked about topics in my circle of friends. I’m married, the issue comes up whenever we get together again and we can never come to a conclusion. I think this situation has arisen from the clash of traditional and modern. For example, if we look at 35-40 years ago, divorce was very rare. Since our grandparents did not have much chance of getting divorced due to family pressures, they remained unhappy but remained married. One way or another, marriage has been a lifelong event. Therefore, your wife’s mother is like your own mother and her father is like your own father, and so on. So it was considered normal to say mother or father.

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Almost all of my friends who grew up in such a family say in very harsh language, “Parents should be called.” My friends, who grew up in an environment where stress and tradition are not paramount, think, “What is needed, it is not needed, it is nonsense.” I’m one of those people who doesn’t want to be called a parent. Because mom and dad are very sacred and I want to use it only for my own family.

I almost resisted saying that I was not in the process of getting married. Instead of parents, I used “sir”, “you”, “sir”, “mam”, “aunty” and “uncle”. But every time I addressed him, I saw sadness on their faces. After a while, “Why?” The question came. In fact, asking the “why” of a situation that can be understood from this point of view is a big question mark… although I answered, “I think so”, I am certainly not satisfied. My wife, on the other hand, quickly agreed to call my family Mom and Dad. Although the issue was not raised in any way, entirely on his own will … Here, I think the issue returns to the traditional framework.

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But one day I had to call my wife’s mother “Mother”. It was a holiday and I had to call at that moment, I wanted to put an end to this argument between me and my wife and to upset the other party because of this problem. But this time I had another problem … My own mother heard me call my wife’s mother. Then the trip that lasted for two days, the food that was kept low in front of me, ‘I have tea for everyone, I don’t have it’. In short, it is a subject that is impossible to please. I think we, the men, usually lose in this story …

We were almost cotton Annie involved.

HA / 34

You really put salt in my wounds by asking this question. The only problem we had with my wife and her family before we got married was because I loved and valued them from day one. However, six months before our wedding, my mother-in-law texted her son, “Our daughter’s son-in-law still calls us ‘Aunt, Mama.’ I embarrass the subject neighbors. Now that you’re used to your face, it’s not like that, “he said. All the hell broke up at our last meeting, because my dear wife told me everything with all her nudity.

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I say last because I opened the ring that day and gave it to him. “I love them both very much, but as a parent I can’t call anyone so loud. What style is this? I mean, I thought I’d be a little scared that when we get married they’ll interfere with everything like that. They saw that the incident was going to get out of hand and an olive branch had spread out in the opposite direction.

In fact, I later became so angry with myself. My wife hosted a peace dinner for us. There, I opened the subject of courage and said, “If you see fit, I will call you ‘Cotton Mother’ from now on.” I was inspired by the whiteness of your hair; I also said it would be soft like cotton, but from time to time, still her mother-in-law, there is no sign of cotton.

She later fell in love with Cotton Ann, even calling my son ‘Cotton Mom’ instead of ‘Grandma’, which makes it even more fun to hear from her. My father-in-law wasn’t too upset about this, he said, “Girl, call me whatever you want”, but he had to be our ‘Pamuk Dad’. Although we sometimes quarrel, I love Pamuk’s mother and Pamuk’s father very much.

If I said, what would you say?

Izgi K./40

We have talked about this problem with many of my friends who were married before my marriage. In fact, a friend of mine said, “I told my parents, it’s over. I can’t deal with uncles, aunts, you, sirs … When I say mother, do I become a mother or my face hurts”. It is very strange to me to call someone else a guardian. I have parents and everyone has their own parents …

In the early years of our marriage, my wife tried to bargain with me, “If I tell my parents, will you tell me?” Although I loved my parents when I was with them, calling someone else “Mommy Daddy” seems like a betrayal of them. That’s exactly what I told my wife, and I told her that she could address my parents as she pleased.

This problem quickly subsided between us, but many of our friends had a lot of trouble. I still haven’t seen anyone voluntarily call their wife’s parents “parents.” I want to congratulate them anyway.

When you tell me, you can use

Esra K./40

Calling someone other than my own family “parents” seemed really strange to me. My wife started calling me “Mommy Daddy” from day one. When we were hired, I chose not to address too much. From the beginning I thought it would be very difficult, how to say. Actually, the first one is very difficult, but once it comes out of the mouth, the rest is easy. It’s like jumping into a frozen sea and then getting used to the cold … Once you say it, it goes on automatically.

Honestly, I’m not saying this because I think I’m a parent, but it’s not a shame. No one pressured me to say “you have to say”, but the pressure from society is enough …

If I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t want anyone to call me mother except my own child. Will my mind change with age? I hope this doesn’t change because parents are a very special word that should not be forced when it is not really felt and it does not come from within.

I will give a bigger share than inheritance to those who say ‘mother’

MB / 86

When I was married, there was no one who did not call his wife’s family as parents, no one could have imagined that. The day they come to ask for it, the day they become our parents, they say, “My daughter, kiss your parents’ hands.” We grew up with such a culture.

About 30 years ago, I was shocked when I heard that the neighbor’s daughter-in-law called her aunt instead of mother. I have 2 sons and 2 daughters. I call my fianc “my daughter, my son”, but one of my brides calls me “mother” and speaks as sincerely as my own daughter …

All I can say is, I love her the most, and whenever she says mom, I connect many levels of conversation. It’s very important to me, it makes me feel valued. Of course, this value has a value for me. No one knows, but I wrote it on one side: I will give more of my inheritance to that bride. Not to my son, only to my bride. I will not trade her for the world, said a sincere mother, taking care of me and trembling over me.

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