Research shows that we spend six hours a day on new media channels. But the idea that the digital age has brought to our lives, the new media is not so innocent. Like an uncontrolled, uncontrolled child … In an area where adults have lost their way, children are totally vulnerable.
The business has become such that children are becoming victims of new media not only as spectators but also as actors. A very interesting symposium on this subject was held last week. The symposium, organized by the Family Foundation, discusses parenting in the digital age.
The presentation of two participants in the symposium allowed us to examine the subject from two angles. Marmara University Faculty of Communication Lecturers Association. Dr. We spoke with Haldun Narmanlıoğlu about how to deal with the new media and various disciplines on children’s issues, and with family counselor Saliha Erdim about ways to manage relationships with children at this age.
Saliha Erdim (Expert Family Counselor / Author)
We cannot feed the souls of children
Author and consultant Saliha Erdim spoke at a session entitled “The Test of Family Psychology with the Media” at the Symposium on Parenting in the Digital Age organized by the Family Foundation. There were interesting details in this section, which especially questioned our relationship with social media. We chatted with Erdim after the symposium.
– This period, which we call the digital age, is a danger to the family?
– The biggest danger instead of the digital age is the lack of family peace, the fact that their children do not feel like members of their family … Problems between parents should not be solved by two intelligent adults; Controversial and contentious solutions push children away from the family environment where they are not happy and to find an environment where they can feel better and happier. Social media presents it in such a fast, attractive way, in a tempting way that the human mind is tempted by them. Plus it’s out of control. Young children hear and see things beyond the needs of their age. Social media is now a medium where children can easily communicate with friends or non-friends.
– Are the parents ready?
– Parents are not ready for this because they too are lost through social media. We see life outside the screen. The phone does not fall from the hands of parents. Parents, I can’t eat, I’m going to do business, she leaves her child alone with tablets and phones in old age, she will argue will be long lasting. Kids are now discovering play and fun here. There is an absorbent structure. She is happy in an environment that is constantly changing, interesting and entertaining, forgetting herself and not noticing the hours.
– You mean, like, saltines and their ilk, eh?
– The main problem is that we live by forgetting the purpose of our existence instead of digital media. We forget our role in daily activities, working life. We give birth to babies and hand them over to grandparents and caregivers. When I look at the parents of the children brought to me because I can’t stay away from the phone or the computer, I see that they are the real addicts. The only way for a child to get out of there is to spend time with their parents and be happy and at peace in the family. Otherwise, if you pull the baby out with a crane, you will not be able to get it out. The role of the family in shaping the child should not be forgotten.
– So what needs to be done?
– She needs to be interested in her friends, school, environment and treat the child like a human being. It’s not just kids getting stuck in digitalism. Problems are not solved until the family gap is filled. Today it is called digital media, tomorrow it is something else. We do not feed the souls of children. The child wants to feed his soul by bonding with his parents. Being together in a family does not mean being a family. Those who do not see love in the family seek outside, those who do not feel the division in the family seek outside. These are the most urgent needs of a child. We need to question what family means. How many parents do joint activities with their children? Every client who comes to me says, “We are very busy.” When will you end this busyness and remember you are a family? Kids don’t need the most expensive shoes. She needs a nice conversation, attention and love with her parents. It is a fact that we live a money-based life, we live a comfortable-based life. The spiritual, spiritual and emotional development of our children breaks down and disappears into our technological crowd. It is the duty of the parent to bring the child’s activities into his life in a virtual environment. There is talk of using social media up to seven hours a day. Similar to the characters in the videos and TV series we watch. We use their lines, we imitate their lives. We want to be as beautiful as they are, to be well-groomed and to live in luxury. However, this is a movie. Real life is never like that. If we do not take action, it means the loss of a generation.
– What’s the problem with your clients knocking on your door?
– Clients don’t come to me for social media addiction. Problems arise when parents bring their children because they can’t take it from social media. You spend time together, you look into each other’s eyes and hang out at the dinner table. When these kids don’t grow up seeing it, they think it’s family, deterioration. See, the danger is so great that what we call a degenerate family picture today may be what we are looking for in the future.
Create a price list
The solution is censorship, not prohibition. We can’t find a solution by fighting with our child. We will use it, but we will not rule life through it.
Of course, children will be on social media, they will communicate, but the hour and the medium need to be determined very well.
Having a computer in the common area of the family is also a solution. It should be encouraged to use in halls, not in rooms.
The baby needs to make alternatives. We told the boy to spend some time at the computer and leave the phone. This is not a solution unless we offer alternatives.
We will make our child feel valued. Children who cannot connect with their parents because they think they are worthless, they accept the values given by social media. Kids love those models!
List the values you give to your children and act accordingly. Before that, establish a heart bond with your child.
ASOC Dr. Haldun Normanlioglu (Marmara University Faculty of Communication Faculty Member)
A new exploitation order is established
Assoc. Dr. Haldun Narmanlıoğlu’s observations about new media and family are important. Leaving the child at the center of YouTube on social media and family, he told us: “The world of education has done a lot of research on new media and family, but there is no solution. Each case has created an idea in itself but may not seem holistic. This academic effort needs to be integrated. And this field is changing so fast that a lot has changed. At the point where you start and end the study. I don’t have a solution, I have an effort. “
Techno capitalist system
“Let’s start with a specific example, there are two YouTuber brothers, world famous, Vlad and Nicki … they make $ 70 million a year. We see these kids play, sleep and survive. There’s also a dramatic narrative, we’re involved in the script. If we look at these children from a liberal and liberal point of view, social media and the internet have a very egalitarian structure that provides opportunities for everyone. The average person can earn 70 70 million. It has become an industry and the number of child YouTubers is increasing day by day. A chance! Professional stars can reach more audiences than movie producers. These two kids have 7 million subscribers from Turkey alone. But let’s look at it critically, it’s a new exploitation order. YouTube has no studio, no set crew, cameraman No. We do all the work. ” If we look at it from the perspective that they call this technology-capitalist system, it is a new order of exploitation. We are sympathetic workers. It’s not just the content creators, it’s the viewers. “So is Arak. Likes, shares, comments, whatever, contributes to this economy. YouTube is the most broadcast channel in the world, without any production work.”
“A concept very relevant to the family sociology is emerging, on the one hand, the digital pacifier! We reveal it to our children so they can stay calm. The family sees itself in it properly. We cannot interpret the situation as a family. Life, sociological structures are like that. We live and work outside. We are busy with something and we have less time. “
Children, free family workers
“We can see the situation legally. This has recently started to happen in America. The children who starred in the TV series at a young age started suing their families. You forced me to play against my will. And there are custody cases. My mother should go through this.” This person should not take the money I earn. This time it is like this. We are faced with an idea, unpaid family worker. Because the owner of the property is the channel, the family that markets it. New business model. Who owns this job? Dad, Mom, that means parents. “Who is the employee? Children. Can we say unpaid family worker? We say They are also considered influential. How do we define a child, YouTuber, influential, unpaid family worker, sympathetic worker, whose labor is exploited? “
Fetish is an element of pleasure
“Let me continue from the point of view of the viewer … Pornography is involved here, but the subject I am talking about is not sexual pornography. , Presented to us as an element of pleasure in a fetish manner, we consider it as pornography.Everything they eat and drink, strange meat-cutting rituals, house like palaces … Viewer, the life of that rich child YouTuber is inaccessible, inaccessible. That toy, the pool, the car, the activity … “
Sales, audience kids
“Children are sold as profiles to advertisers by watching these. Advertisers do not pay for the quality and beauty of the video. It pays the customer. Children are watching what is sold here.”
“If we think from a psychological point of view, the parents are acting there. So, does the child see the parents as normal parents or people? The reality is changing. Modeling family life there. If we look. From the child’s point of view on YouTube, He always stays in the house where he lives. “