There are times when life tests us. The decisions we make can lead us in a different direction from that moment on. It is uncertain whether we will be happy or unhappy, but we have no choice. At that moment, we all need courage.
Nilgun is one of those women who did not find courage. She was married to a man from the same culture and environment, Haluk. They had been married for 25 years and their son had reached the age of 23. “The relationship between us in the first years of our marriage was really a dream. Our love and respect was endless. But when Haluk starts working abroad, everything changes, ”said Nilgun. “Another woman or what?” I asked. “Yeah,” she said, “he told me that too. He had sex with a few women while he was abroad. But he said these were unimportant.”
All men do
“Is it unimportant? So how important is deception?” I smiled and asked, “Do you know that all men do such things abroad, doctor,” and he surprised me. He then proceeded, “Believe me, this is not the main problem, I experienced the real devastation when his foreign-related work was over and he was fully back in the country.” Nilgun began to breathe, “My son was the first to wake me up.
“Mom, don’t rely on my dad so much because he can cheat on you,” she said one day. I blew it away saying, ‘Is this my son, your father cares so much for me and our family, he will never do such a thing. Nilgun tended to cover up the incident because he did not want his family to be harmed. However, his wife Haluk had already given a clue about his condition while fleeing abroad.
Nilgun added, “My son’s cold attitude towards his father has gradually increased. One day I couldn’t stand it and asked, ‘Mom, you know nothing. Till today I was silent so as not to upset you, but now know. My dad cheated on you with dozens of women. In fact, when I said, ‘His current relationship has been going on for seven years,’ I was shocked.
Nilgun’s son, who worked as a detective, found traces of all the women his father had met. He gave these phones to his mother. Nilgun confirmed the betrayal and spoke to those he could find. “You know what’s the saddest part?” Nilgun said, “This guy hasn’t even touched me in bed in five years.
I thought that because of the pressure of work, he was behaving in such a way that even if we did not have sex, it would not interfere with our happiness. ” “Okay so far, you’ve learned everything, so what did you do?” I asked Nilgun, to which he replied, “Stop, it’s not over yet.”
“My son could not digest these incidents. One day a heated argument broke out at home over this issue. My son went to his father with a knife. I intervened, preventing a last minute murder. My son is going to be his father’s killer. “
We are still together
Surprisingly, I did not expect anything like that. “Was it all worth it? You went down pretty cheap, but what if something worse happened?” “You’re right, Doctor, I did not dare to separate. That’s why I almost ruined my son’s life. ” “No, we are still together. My son left home after this incident.
He got a job himself, he works, he doesn’t see his father. Haluk swore to me. He said that what he did was a mistake and that it would never happen again. I know I should have left but I couldn’t. Our marriage continues. Actually, it’s going very well. That disrespectful man, as we said, is gone, now a man has come who shows his love and spends all his time outside of work with me.
Our sex life has started again. ” “What does your son say about continuing this marriage?” “She wanted me to leave, to start a new life with her. She said, ‘Mom, I’m not going to make you dependent on anyone’ but I couldn’t … Haluk was the first and only person to come into my life. Looks like I can’t live without it. “
No one is essential
Although Nilgun lived. Although she devoted most of her life to him, she would live without the slightest contact with other men. It just takes some courage. “Are you happy?” I wanted to ask but gave up. He was happy in his own way because he was successful in getting a wife despite all the hardships.
I didn’t see it that way, success was not trying to keep the existing order in spite of everything, success showed the courage to make a radical decision for itself. No one is essential, my friends. The only essential thing is one’s nature. Happiness comes only when we protect ourselves.