We know that in the process of falling from the womb into the mother’s lap, we do not have much access to stimuli other than the mother’s scent, and we are also sensitive to the red color of the fetus, but that external stimulus. Not something we care too much about in that process. Since the sense of smell reaches our brains without going through any filters, babies can distinguish their mother’s scent from other scents at birth.
The baby that falls into the mother’s lap starts life with ID and this ID focuses on the essence of happiness and survival. I will not explain the unique features of ID in detail, as you can find it in this article (Spiritual Device Series 1). Of course, I will mention a few basic features.
The working principle of ID is between joy and pain. Honestly, you can think of it as “if you find food, and if you get beaten, run.” ID does not pay attention to the concepts that include time, space, ethics, crime and the rate of punishment to get to that food. The purpose of ID is to reach happiness, and this joy is the mother’s breast for the child in the mother’s lap. When trying to reach the mother’s breast, there will be some reasons that prevent the ID from reaching the pleasure, which does not pay attention to the reality. For example, the mother has a job and whenever the baby cannot reach the mother she wants, she may feel lonely, abandoned, unwanted and it is a pain, grief, anguish for the baby.
Is it familiar?
People who go crazy when they see a blue tick on WhatsApp raise their hands when no one else answers. If that ID doesn’t calm down with the proper ego power, it hurts a lot because you answered too late on WhatsApp, a lot of relationships will end.
Ego power is a trait that leads us to healthy emotions in the realm of reality. Before we talk about a few things, let’s take a look at where the ego system begins. Pride begins at the first delay of the mother’s breast; “Kids don’t always get what I want and I have to put up with it,” she begins to learn. This endurance is the first spark of ego. However, the only way to endure is to defend yourself.
Our ego power is:
* Calm yourself
* To express thoughts, feelings and desire to express oneself
* Effective vitality
There are important functions of ego power such as calming down, delaying contentment, finding the right time, disappearing if not appropriate, maintaining a balance of guilt and punishment and one of the most important tasks here is to endure being alone.
When ID tries to be happy, ego tries to do it in the right way. However, some ID requests are crazy and may not be accepted by society. In this case, the superego, which begins to form around the 36th month and derives its foundations from the parent’s social ethical rules, comes into play and now the ego has two bosses. Isn’t it a shame?
Id wants pleasure, Supergo acts as a moral watchdog and the ego is caught between the two. If you have questions about why ego power is important, this is why it is important. Because he has to balance both his bosses and melt both morality and happiness in one pot.
This is not easy because both bosses are oppressors who do not know and do not understand the reality. When you are caught between these two cruelties and your ego is not strong enough, your mood can be quite challenging.
Since these conflicts occur unconsciously, you cannot perceive, understand, and direct them on a conscious level. At the conscious level, defense measures are effective in calming these conflicts. That is, if you put forward a more mature defense system as your ego develops.
I will touch on the defense a little and end the article. Anna Freud says: What we do in our lives is a defense against life. The main purpose is to enjoy, survive and perpetuate the lineage. Eating, working, sleeping, starting a family, reading, having sex, drinking, gambling, building relationships, etc. Indeed, everything is for survival and a defense against pain and grief. The defense system is divided into 3 types:
* Primitive defense system
* Moderate defense system
* Mature defense system
So, what will this information do in our lives?
Wait, I’ll be back …
When it comes to the defense system, we have to go into Masterson and Object Relation Theory and take a breath.
Object relationship theory is the most preferred theory in current psychodynamically oriented psychotherapy theory. Let me talk fairly
The main lines of the theory, which divide the first three years of life into major parts, are as follows:
Autistic duration 0-2 months
Symbiotic duration of 2-7 months
7-18 months narcissistic period
Boundary period of 18-36 months
The periods I listed above are the times when our basic mental structure is formed and the super-favorable breaks felt during these periods cause self-deception. Masterson defines his 4 disorders.
* Antisocial self-disorder
* Schizoid self-disorder
* Narcissistic Self Disorder
* Borderline Self Disorder
He will complete 36 months with any one of these four ailments and during this time, the feelings that will create the desired stimuli like love, value, importance, affection, interest, etc., are the seeds of the defense system. For example, if a child receives love in exchange for obedience to his mother at 20 months, he can combine emotions that will create excitement for life, listen to other people, and obey their wishes. Then he comes out and says “I can’t tell anyone.”
Here, all the information will help us to know what the client is working with, what is the basic quest of life by looking at the client’s defense system, ID-ego-superego and balance of emotions. Patterns of behavior. Knowing this psychological development step by step will enable you to make the right intervention at the right time and create a new breath for your clients.
Mehmet Murat Altan
Psychological Counselor / Psychotherapist