Expert Clinical Psychologist Esra Ezmesi says: “Age differences are not important in your relationship …”

In comments about relationships, we often hear statements like “She is much older than me, my father is old, your mother is old.” However, when we look at marriage in general terms, we see that there is always a certain age difference between men and women in general. Contrary to expectations, the age difference in a relationship is not the only criterion that determines the quality and duration of a relationship.

Sub-factors such as feelings, spiritual maturity, longevity and sense of responsibility actually provide a clear structure for the relationship. At the very beginning of the relationship, whatever the age difference. The most important thing for a person is how beautiful, handsome, attractive the person is in his life; When she sees him, her heart breaks; Occupy individuals with a fascinating ability to influence their hair and behavior. Also your inner arousal, butterfly flying, changing hormones make you ignore a lot of things.

The word love blind is actually a summary of this situation. When love enters one’s life, we lose the ability to reason logically. The most important situation in life is related to the person you are in love with for those moments. But as time goes on and relationships begin to stabilize, the effects of hormones and emotions return to normal. Indeed, situations such as social environment, expectations, career, where age is very effective, begin to be included in the questionable factors related to the relationship. Now the age difference can start to cut the spots in the eyes of the person. At the same time, a relationship that you feel is not approved by your family or environment can force you in every sense. Because of this situation you can try to keep your relationship in a more secret place and constantly question the relationship and create a negative situation. In particular, the model of the relationship most judged by the environment is the relationship with the age difference. Most people do not comment positively on such relationships, do not criticize them or find many reasons for this relationship.

The most common situation is that the older or younger party will use the other person financially, using the relationship to reach a certain position. In other words, he can never establish this relationship emotionally, he must do it for a purpose. “If he doesn’t live together because he’s in a good financial position, why not!” We must have heard their comments in our lives.

There are difficulties and good!
The most important thing in a relationship is matching life expectations. This situation can cause some difficulties in the relationship with the age difference compared to other relationships. For example, when a young woman is expecting a child at a young age, an older person may be going through a time where she demands more pleasure. Another compelling factor in a relationship where there is an age difference is the ability to mature mentally. The older person may try to teach the other party the results of his or her experience as a teacher, or may not be able to meet each other’s empathy skills as a result of the situation brought about by the experience. While it is easy for one party to understand the other’s feelings and thoughts, it can be even more difficult for the other party. Of course, this situation is not only valid for age differences, if people cannot establish a mental balance in the relationship, then the course of this relationship has already been damaged. There can be a big age difference between you and the person you let into your life. Well, your environment doesn’t approve of your relationship, but you can see that you love her in spite of everything and everything is fine. What should you do in this situation? Let’s see what we can do now.

Trust must come first in a healthy relationship
Maintaining a successful relationship is more about how partners share the same goals, values ​​and beliefs than age differences. Therefore, if the only thing you are stuck with about the relationship is the age difference, it may prevent you from seeing other positive factors in your relationship. What should be in a healthy relationship; Trust, respect, sincerity, ability to support each other, ability to solve problems in a constructive way and at the same time feel the commitment of the relationship. Age has nothing to do with these factors. What is true is that age should not be a barrier if both individuals can make an effort for the relationship.

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